Day 253

Adoption.

The road of adoption is hard...but the rewards are even greater.

I was reading one of my adoption blogs and came across this story that I wanted to share:


Jodi and her husband took the stand that if they started talking about baby's adoption from day 1, they would get enough practice in by the time the child was old enough to ask questions (when the story really matters). She said every night she would tell baby, "Mommy and Daddy prayed a long time for you, do you know that? We loved you so much we traveled all the way to Guatemala to get you. Mama Melinda loved you so much, but wasn't able to feed you, so she let us bring you home so you could live a long healthy life." They lived next to an airport and Jodi would point to the sky and say, "Look, baby, Mommy and Daddy took an airplane just like that one to go to Guatemala." She said by the time baby was 1 he would ask "Mama plane" he wanted to hear the plane story every night before he went to bed. Jodi said his adoption story was celebrated; an every-day part of their lives, and baby was fascinated by it. One day they were at the park (baby was 2 1/2) and a nearby mom said, "You must look just like your daddy!" [why do so many people feel the need to ask this question?] Baby looked up at the mom and exclaimed, "I'm a Guatemalan baby!" Baby proceeded to tell his story, "Mama and Daddy loved me so much they went all the way to Guatemala to get me. Even when I was in Mama Melinda's belly they prayed for me..." Jodi said she about fell to the ground. She had never heard him talk about his story and at 2 1/2 didn't realize he understood so much of it. Her heart swelled at her son's secure, confident identity. This same scenario has played out multiple times through his short 5 years.


How heart-warming that story is!!! Although Dan and I will not be traveling to a far away place to get our baby, we will still be celebrating his or her adoption story. We will celebrate and be grateful for the birthparents who loved their child so much that they wanted what was best for it. We can't wait for the day when we can tell our child's adoption story.

Day 252

We have recieved a note from our social worker who encouraged us to hang in there because there are quite a few birthparents that are in the process of looking into adoption.

Although I would love to give updates on when birthmothers are looking at us to you all....I just don't think that I can do that anymore. At some point Dan and I need to stop and just protect our hearts. I cannot go around telling people to pray about a birthmother who may possibly pick us only to have to turn around and say, "Oh, yeah, nevermind...she picked someone else." It is too hard.

So, while you won't hear updates about prospective children please keep praying because it is pretty hard, especially during the holidays. Thank you!

Day 248

Thank you all for your prayers for us during these very hard couple of days. Although it has been difficult for Dan and myself, we have felt so encouraged by all the prayers, emails, texts, messages, and expressions of love. Thank you.

I've been trying to think why this hit me so hard when nothing is for sure with adoption and I have come to the following conclusions:
1. God saw my large list and decided to give us more time to finish it. ;)
2. Everyone else got so excited about the possibility that we could have a baby by Christmas and I got caught up in it.
3. Dan was REALLY excited about the possibility (usually he is the calm one who doesn't ever think anything is a for sure until it happens).
4. I thought that we would get picked by at least one of the birthmothers!!! I mean, who wouldn't want to pick us!?!?!

Anyway, I am traveling back up the emotional roller coaster and I'm hoping to close myself off from getting too excited again because those big, emotional downward spirals are not fun for anyone. I found a verse while I was reading my Bible yesterday that just really hit me and I thought I would share it:

"Those that plant with tears will harvest with shouts of joy."
~ Psalm 126.5 ~

I tell you what, when God deems it our time, we will be shouting for joy.

Day 246

I'm an emotional wreck today.

I thought I could handle going to work and having people ask me questions but I just can't. I know there is another baby out there for us. I know God has a plan. But right now I just hurt. I am so thankful for family and friends who are praying for us right now. That means a lot. But I can't talk about it right now....maybe in a couple days.

Right now, I am going to stay home (I'm thankful for co-workers who understand) and cuddle with my furry baby until the tears stop.

Both birthmothers selected other families.

Day 245

No word yet. But I did receive a wonderful prayer from a friend today that really touched me. It is good to know that we have so much love and support from everyone. Thank you.



Dear God,


Be with my friends Trisha and Dan right now. I don't know what is happening or what is going on with the adoptions but Lord, I see them aching to provide for another Human being and to be blessed with a Baby and it hurts to see some friends aching.


Lord, send your spirit on Trisha and Dan and give them peace. Though I have no idea what they are going through, you, Lord, do know what they are going through, and you, Lord, know when and where and how you will provide for them.


I trust in your wonderful wisdom for them. I trust in your awesome power for them. I trust in your perfect love for them.



bless my friends, Lord.




amen

Day 244

Thank goodness God has given me the ability to compartmentalize! Instead of thinking about that dear sweet baby boy who may or may not be in the hospital and wondering why the birthmother hasn't yet made a decision, I have decided to distract myself by writing lists. I love writing lists. I plan on not being depressed by working on this list until we hear from Bethany:

- Prepare the diaper bag in case we get a last minute call. This includes finding the perfect baby outfit to bring baby Van home in. I'm still looking. I'm leaning toward something with dinosaurs on it. ;)

- Finish the nursery. This one could take awhile to do.
>Dan has the first coat of paint done.
>I am working on a painting of an African sunset for the nursery.
>Dan needs to paint the crib, the bookcase, and we need to get our changing table
>I would love to get our glider and our safari rug before we have baby....those are a "we'll see" right now though....

- Buy and read through "What to Expect the First Years." Why not be prepared before baby comes!?

Day 243

I'm asking for prayers this morning around 10:30. That is when the birthmother who already had the baby boy will be looking at our profile. As much as I want this baby, I also want the baby God wants us to have. So pray specifically for God's will in this...and if you could send up a prayer for God to protect our hearts. For some reason my heart just aches to hold this little boy....
Thank you all.

Day 242

I'm so glad that I have my sweet nieces around to keep a smile on my face these days. On Thursday, when I found out about the birthmother who had the baby already, I got a text in the evening from my niece, Megan (using her mom's cell phone):

"This is Megan. I hope you get a baby. Bye Aunt Trisha, bye Uncle Unicorn (Dan's name, its a long story). Mmmmmwwwwwwwhahahaha."

I heard later from Kristen (Megan's mom) that after devotions every night, when asked what she wants to pray for, she says, "That Aunt Trisha and Uncle Unicorn get a baby."

So sweet.

Yesterday we had our family Christmas and Elise (Megan's younger sister) sat me down and talked to me about the merits of having a boy baby and a girl baby:

"If you have a boy you are going to have to deal with a lot of Star Wars. You just will. If you have a girl you will have to deal with Barbie."

I told her that I'm not a fan of playing Barbie....plus, Barbie wears WAY too much pink for my liking.

Elise replied, "Then you will have to have two girls so that they can play Barbie with each other and you won't have to play!"

I love it! These girls just crack me up. Ya gotta love them.

Dan, Megan, and Elise. As you can tell by the picture, Dan is 9, Megan is 7, and Elise is 28. :)

Day 239

No word from Bethany yet about the birthmother who looked at our profile on Monday. It can be anywhere from 2-3 days to 2-3 weeks. I will keep ya'll posted though. '

However, I did receive notice that there is ANOTHER birthmother who will be looking at our profile on Monday. This baby is a boy who was actually born November 29!!!

I know that God has the perfect baby for us...please pray for all of the above situations because only God know which one is right!!! Thank you!

Day 236

Well, another update!
We just got word that there is another birthmother who will be looking at our profile Dec. 1. She is due in February with a baby girl. Please pray both for the birthmother and for us. You can also add to your prayer request that there will not be any extra fees (legal) on top of this adoption should she pick us.
Thanks for your prayers! We'll keep you updated.

Day 236

I am so thankful for all the family and friends who showed their support to me this past weekend at my shower. You all will never know how much your support meant to me. It is so hard to feel like an expectant mom when there are no physical signs. But being showered with love and gifts for Baby Van brought me that much closer to the feeling. Nothing about this process is easy but to have people lavish Dan and I with love for the baby to come overwhelmed my heart. Surprisingly, (and thankfully) I didn't cry too much.

Below are some pictures from the shower. Enjoy!

My super-cute safari themed diaper cake made by Momo! How adorable is that!

So I could NOT think of the name of something and sounded completely mommy-dumb. Oh well, I'll learn!

My nieces were being very helpful.

The safari lampshade for my nursery!

Okay, did you know they had specific cleaners for nipples (for bottles)? I totally did not know that...but had a lot fun shouting "NIPPLE!!!" ;)

All sorts of stuff to keep Baby Van clean and healthy. If he is anything like all the other Van babies this stuff will come in very handy!!

Finally, we have my awesome diaper bag from Aaron and Sara. I can't wait to pack it up with stuff I will need for when we bring Baby Van home from the hospital!

Thank you again to everyone! We feel so loved! Someone asked me the other day when they heard I was having a shower if I was "expecting." Yes, I am expecting. I just don't know when my baby is coming. It could be within the hour, within the month or within 6 months. But now we are a little more prepared for Baby Van's arrival thanks to everyone who came to this shower. Thank you!

Day 217

Waiting sucks....
...sorry Aunt Deb....

No other "enlightened" thing to say....check back later for a more positive post....

Day 201

We were not chosen by this particular birthmother. I know it was kind of unlikely to get picked right away but we both kind of let ourselves get our hopes up. We are okay...we know that this was not our child...it is still hard.

Day 201

So, I received an email from our caseworker that somewhat answers the "how long do we wait before we hear something about this birthmom" question:

"It is different for each birthmother, how long they take to decide. It can range from 2-3 days to 2-3 weeks. If you don't hear from me it usually means I don't know anything. I will ALWAYS let you know the outcome of the decision of the birthmother."

So, that at least gives us some idea of how long we have to wait for the decision...I imagine that since the birthmother is due November 5, she will make her decision sooner rather than later though. :)

Thank you all for your prayers!

Day 199

Haven't heard anything and I don't know when or if we will. Please keep us in your prayers. I think I would prefer morning sickness to this time of waiting...

Day 195

Well, I have been going over how much I want to tell people when Dan and I receive news from Bethany. I truly feel like we really need your prayers right now though...so:

I received word from Bethany this morning that they have an adoptive mother who would like to go through our profile on Friday morning. Now, this just means that we are going to be looked at...it doesn't mean that she has chosen us. However, she does need to make her decision quickly as she is due November 5!

I am asking that you pray that God's will be done. You all know how much I have been longing for a baby. But we know this is in God's hands as he has the baby picked out for us. If this is our baby I ask that you pray for the birthmother as this is going to be the most difficult decision she will ever have to make. If this isn't our birthmother I ask that you pray for peace and understand for Dan and I. This is just the emotional roller coaster that adoption puts you through...

Thank you all for your prayers...we really feel them!

Day 187

First of all, thank you all for your support, your comments, your prayers...All of this has helped me stay positive during what could have been a very trying time. Thank you.

Dan and I registered at Babies R' Us this past weekend. It was fun but a bit overwhelming. We were there for a couple of hours deciding between what was just "stuff" and what we actually needed (did you know there is actually a bottle that will "bring your child closer to nature" by mimicking the feel of an actual breast? Weird!!!). It was fun though. Today I will be going out with my sister-in-law to register at Target where I am hoping to find some non-frilly baby gear...

Well, that is all the updates that I have....I'm going to try to catch a bit more sleep before the day begins. I don't know if Sam is trying to prepare me for motherhood or not but he woke me up at 4am and I haven't been able to fall back asleep since!

Day 183

Oh boy...so, I realized this week that I need to consider myself 8 months pregnant. You couldn't tell from looking at me, but in every other way I am an expectant mother. The hard part about not carrying your child yourself is that not everyone sees you this way...I don't get to make my husband run out in the middle of the night because I am craving ice cream (I am sure he is grateful for that), I don't get to show people pictures of my baby's ultrasound...but I get a whole different kind of 'firsts.' These 'firsts' are not necessarily understood by all of our family or friends. Like today, our profile books came in the mail AND we mailed our check to Bethany to pay for our homestudy/pre-placement services. That is HUGE. Next week we could have birthmothers looking at our profile, next week we could get a call, next week we could be parents (this is unlikely...but it could happen!).

The hard thing about adoption is that I don't know exactly when all this will happen...I don't know when we will get the call. This is what most adoptive parents call "the waiting period.' It could be a short wait or it could be long. I don't know. Dan and I are going to be registering this Friday because if we get a call quickly we won't have time to worry about doing that. I'm a little nervous about how the sales people will respond when they see me, a person obviously not preggo, wanting to register. Such a silly thing, I know. :)

Please know that Dan and I covet and need your prayers. Please pray for our baby and for the choices our birthmother may be struggling to make and please pray for Dan and I as we are less than a week away from being available to be chosen!!!
Thank you all.

Day 174

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years...
Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.


~ Author Unknown ~

Day 171

Oh my goodness...we were sent our homestudy today. That happened sooner than I thought. I was thinking we wouldn't get that until next week...but we received it today!

What does that mean?

Well, it means Dan and I have the weekend to look through it, correct any errors we find, and then we can send it back. After that we send a big check to Bethany and BAM! We are eligible adoptive parents!

Phew, we have a lot to do before we get picked...

...I think I am going to sleep now while I still can!!! :)

Day 167

HUGE progress made tonight...

WE FINISHED OUR PROFILE BOOK!!!!

For those of you who don't know, a profile book is basically a snapshot of your life. You put togehter and order a book through Snapfish or Shutterfly and tell your life story, write a letter to the birthmother, write about your personalities, interests, family, childcare plans....pretty much everything. I'm emailing it to a couple people and our social worker so they can look it over or recommend changes. After that, the last step is to read through and proof the homestudy (Kim, our social worker, will be sending that to us when she is done).

So - we have about one to two weeks where we will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we will not be parents. After that, who knows (except God, of course)!?!?!

Day 136

It has taken me awhile to process how our last meeting at Bethany went. For us, it went very well...but as we talked about the birthmother's possible situations it made me really, really sad. It is very hard for me to be so happy about getting a child when the whole situation is filled with sadness and grief for the birthmother. Just because she cannot take care of the child does not mean she doesn't love it...I think she loves it more because she is choosing a life for her baby that she cannot give herself. I am excited to be a mom, but my heart is also breaking for our future birthmother. I have just really been burdened to pray for her, for her situation, that she makes good choices and stays strong. I do not know what the future holds for us...but I don't have to worry because God holds our future and our baby's future, in His hands. How can I not trust Him when it is His plan?

I am asking all of you who are still reading our blog to pray. Pray for our birthmother, our baby, everything about this adoption. And tell others to pray because God works through prayer! Thank you!

Our caseworker is on vacation this week. Next week she will be writing our homestudy and will send it to us to approve. Dan and I are finishing up our profile book and will be sending a draft to her next week to look at. We will hopefully be all set to go in about 2-3 weeks! Yay!

Day 128

Fundraiser #2

So, we are getting closer to baby, which means closer to when the majority of the money will be due. We made about $2,000 with the garage sale fundraiser, which is awesome! I feel so blessed by the amount of donations that people gave, by the number of people who showed up to help...and buy!

My sister-in-law thought up the idea for our next fundraiser. To be honest, I feel like I don't want to push it as hard because I don't want people to get annoyed that we keep asking for stuff. But, as she said, this one is really easy and people want to help. So, here we go... "Cans for Baby Van" kicks off today!

All you need to do is:
1. Drink your pop
2. Save your cans
3. Give the empty cans to Dan and Trisha

See! Easy!

I have attached a flyer if you want to get your family/friends/work place involved! Thanks for all your help!

Day 123

Just to give my prayer warriors an update; Our meeting at Bethany has been changed to next WEDNESDAY at 3:00 instead of next Thursday. So say a prayer a day sooner!

It has been a crazy week. I volunteered to take pictures for our VBS program. Watching those kids have fun makes my heart ache. One of my favorite scenes from this week was watching my dad give piggy-back rides to the pre-schoolers. It just reminded me of my childhood. God has richly blessed me with a great family and great memories. I remember Friday night was family night and we would spread a big blanket on the floor in the living room, eat popcorn, and watch TGIF. Lindsey and I would always try to win at "rough-house" with my dad (sometimes we would 'win') and Mom was always telling us stories with different voices. Good times. I can't wait to have a family, to share the love that I feel is overflowing with our future child.



Meanwhile, I am enjoying what life has to offer...including glimpses of how great my child's future grandparents will be! :)

Day 121

Well, we are getting to the end of the paperwork (YAY!). I still can’t believe how smoothly this has gone. I’m glad for that…and praying that it continues to go smoothly (and quickly). :)

We have our last meeting at Bethany next Thursday. We are going to be bringing with us the draft of our profile book along with a list of our 'preferences.' This includes several personal questions that most parents never have to think about like:

Are you okay with:
-a surgically correctable condition (hernia, heart defects, etc.)
-a Medical Condition (Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Cystic Fibrosis, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Autism, Seizure Disorder, etc.)
-Vision and or hearing impairments
-Transracial placement


And then there are questions that you need to answer about your potential birthmother:

Are you okay with:
-Limited or no info. about the birthfather
-Victim of rape
-Victim of incest
-Bipolar disorder
-Reported drug/alcohol abuse (not during pregnancy)
-Criminal history

There are a ton of questions like these…some easier to answer than others. In the end though we know that there is a child out there for us, a child that God has hand-picked to be part of our family. We could get wrapped up in the details of what could or could not happen…but we are just going to trust, and pray.

Day 116

2nd homestudy done! It wasn't bad at all and I feel like it went really well. We answered questions like: "What are the qualities that you most admire about your spouse?" and "How do you divide the roles in your house (ie. bills, cleaning, cooking)." Nothing too difficult and it was a lot shorter than our other homestudy!!!

We have one more on the 19th to talk about our service/hospital plan. Meanwhile we need to finish up our profile book, Birthmother letter and read a couple books. Haha...I'm required to get more books!!! ;)

Thank you all for your prayers, we could definitely feel them!

Day 114

I meant to update sooner but the news of another tragedy in our youth group made me put this off. So, before I start talking about the sale, please add to your prayer list Chase Villerius. He was in a car accident up north and his girlfriend, who was also in the car, was killed. He is in serious condition in the hospital but I have just heard that he knows his name and he told his mom that he loves her!!! Praise God and keep praying!!!

- - - -

Saturday - Garage Sale Day:

My day started at 4am. Not because I needed to be up that early, but because my mind would not stop thinking about all that needed to be done before the sale. Turns out I was busy up until 9:00 doing all sorts of little things. The sale started at 9am and there were people lined up outside!!! Remember when I was all worried that we wouldn't have enough people to come and buy all the stuff? Yeah, I didn't need to worry. God provides!!! :)

We were busy from 9am-1:30pm with people...I wish I would have remembered to take pictures. We sold most of the large items (which we were thankful for because then we didn't have to worry about moving them!).

I was thankful that Gwen told me to make sure we had a big clean-up crew because without the help of strong, non-exhausted people, we would have been cleaning up for 4 hours. As it was, clean-up only lasted and hour and a half!!! Dan and I were home by 3:40! Amazing! I didn't move from the couch the entire night...Garage sales are exhausting!

So, I know this is what you were all waiting for....the total is nearly $2,000!!!! I am shocked and in awe and so very, very grateful! I don't know the "official" total yet because there are some items that we need to sell on Craigslist and there are a couple people we need to collect money from. I am so amazed! So, I wanted to thank all the people who donated...we could not have done this without you. Thank you!

A special thank you to all who took time out of their day to help us. This sale would not have gone so smoothly without all of you. I really feel the love of our family, friends, and church during this time. It is comforting to know we are loved!

Our helpers:
Bonnie Anderson
Diane Brownell
Deb Coon
Lindsey DeYoung
Kathryn Dykhuis
Amanda Gilbert
Beth Gilbert
Catherine Herron
Collette Hoogewind
Roger Hoogewind
Beth Jennings
Sabrina Katsma
Terri Katsma
Travis Katsma
Zach Katsma
Julie Kruizenga
Kevin Kruizenga
Nicole Kruizenga
Jan Loux
Jon Loux
Kara Loux
Kourtney Loux
Jamie McCormick
Wilma Nelson
Gwen Van Manen
Dad Van Stensel
Jon Van Stensel
Melissa Van Stensel
Bonnie Yamamoto

So, thanks again! We have a meeting at Bethany this Thursday so we'll let you know how that goes. It is at 3:00pm so say a prayer!

Pre-Garage Sale Fun

What a LONG day! Thank you to everyone who helped set up for the garage sale! I so appreciate the help!! Believe me, after seeing all the stuff everyone generously donated I was worried we weren't going to be able to get everything put out and priced in one day! But we did it!

The Garage Sale is tomorrow at Rockford Reformed Church (4890 - 11 Mile Rd., Rockford, MI, 49341) from 9am-1pm. Come and see what we have!










Come check it out! All proceeds go towards our adoption! Thanks!

Day 107

Is it sad that I am more stressed about this upcoming garage sale than I was about the homestudy? Initially I was worried that we were not going to get enough donations. Yeah, not so worried about that anymore. We are over flowing with donations!!! Awesome!

Now, I'm just worried that there won't be people to buy all that has been donated. Apparently I didn't submit it to the Advance in the right format so I missed that deadline. It is too late to put it in the GR Press...so I freaked out a little bit yesterday. Dan could not understand why I was so frustrated. "This whole process has gone so smoothly! When has God not taken care of things?" He's right. I shouldn't worry about it. So, I'm going to TRY not to worry. :)

However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to attempt to get the word out there about this garage sale. So, tell your friends and neighbors. There really is a LOT of stuff and everyone will be able to find something. I have attached a flyer for ya'll to print out if you so desire...but word of mouth is the best way.
Thank you to all who have donated...We really appreciate it!

Day 102

I love hearing that people are excited about our adoption. It makes it more real for me. I don't get to talk about maternity clothes or pregnancy woes (I'm okay with that, really). Adoption is what I talk about...a lot. I figure ya'll will forgive me. :)

Now that we are getting closer to "being on the market" (I say that with a smile because sometimes that is what it feels like) I want to recommend a couple things for family members...and those who are curious.

Grab a book:

This book called "Adoption is a Family Affair" by Patricia Johnston. This is not a book for prospective adoptive parents (Dan and I), but instead written for their loved ones. "It plainly explains the adoption process, proper adoption language, questions never to ask, tips on how to support the prospective adoptive parents and other helpful advice." If you are interested, please pick this book up. Dan and I were going to buy these books for our family members...but we're kind of on a budget right now. ;)

Do some research:
Dan and I did a TON of research before we decided on adoption. Here are a couple sites we visited along with a couple of very good blogs on open adoption. I tell you what, open adoption is a lot less scary when you educate yourself more!

>We are working through Bethany Christian Services. We have been very impressed with them so far and our social worker is so knowledgable.
www.bethany.org
>I check this blog often. Her story, if you read from the beginning, will touch your heart.
http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com
>Adoptive Families is a great site for support, articles, etc.
www.adoptivefamilies.com
>Adoptive Families Support Group offers an entire page dedicated to links on adoption, adoption agencies, adoption support, books, online resources, etc.
http://afsn.org/


Thank you all for your support, prayers and love. Our garage sale is next Saturday so be sure you bring your stuff to church next week. Also, I need helpers for Saturday so if you are willing, please help! Thank you!

Day 101

Phew!

I am glad that is done.

The homestudy wasn't that bad...it was just long. Kim arrived at 2:00 and left at 4:45. That is a lot of talking for someone who isn't a big talker. :)

Basically we took care of a couple forms Dan forgot to sign and then she needed to interview Dan. I went into another room so they could talk. Dan's interview was about a half an hour longer than mine. Partly because he had a more complicated childhood and partly because he is a big talker. She basically asked us about our childhoods, what it was like growing up, our siblings, our relationships with our siblings, what jobs everyone does, our current relationships with family...just a LOT of questions.

Then she met with me for about 45 minutes, asking me the same types of questions. When she was done with me Dan came back into the room and we talked about our neighborhood, where the local schools are, our future job plans...

We then took a walk through our house and she "recommended" we get a couple things (another fire detector and a fire extinguisher). We have our next interview scheduled for August 5. She said this one will not take nearly as long...she is just going to be talking about our relationship and how we met etc. There is only one more after that where we will talk about our preferences, birth plans, etc.

So, all in all it wasn't too bad. It did wear me out though. I wasn't good company the rest of the night (sorry Mom and Dad).

While we wait we need to get to work on our profile book. I have a lot of our pictures set aside for that but we need to actually write it and then order it. So, there is still a bit of work to do but it is going pretty smoothly so far!

Thank you all who covered us with prayer...I wasn't nervous at all while I was talking which is a real testament to the power of prayer! ;)

Day 99

Tomorrow is our homestudy.

Am I nervous?

No, not really.

Do I want things to be perfect?

Yes.

Do I realize that having the house spotless, flowers on the table, coffee made and zucchini bread in the oven is totally transparent?

Yup. [smile]

Dan thinks I am too worried about the house looking nice. I’m not worried…but when someone is coming to your house for the exact purpose of judging you, then yes, I want things to look really nice. Plus, I'm trying to compensate for the fact that the house is not completely done...

We spent a lot of the weekend working on the front flowerbeds. They look really nice now. I’ll have to put a picture up later.

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning out the extra bedroom. It had become a catch-all for everything while we were under construction. Tonight I am begrudgingly for-going Bible study to clean the bathrooms, dust all the drywall dust away (hopefully), vacuum, make zucchini bread, wash floors, basically just cleaning everything.

So, tomorrow is the day…everyone say a prayer around 2:00pm!!!

Day 93 - Work & Play

It has been an amazing couple of weeks filled with work, play and everything in between. We heard from Kim last Tuesday that our homestudy will be Wednesday, July 21. She says that this will last for three hours as she will be interviewing Dan, myself and then both of us together as well as looking at our home. Why this will take three hours I don't know...but she will be meeting with us three more times after that, will write up our homestudy, we will review it, and hopefully get that and our profile out there by September! Crazy!

We haven't really had time to do much around the house the last couple weeks because it has been busy with the holiday weekend and a much needed vacation.

Melissa & I lounging in Bostwick lake on the Fourth of July:




Jim, Dan, me, Melissa, Daniel, and Mike enjoying Mackinac Island:



Me and my cutie!!!


On another note, our adoption fundraising garage sale is fast approaching! Only a couple more weeks! Please be sure to set your stuff aside. You will be able to drop items off at Rockford Reformed Church July 26-29th from 8:00am-4:00pm. If you need to make special arrangements please call Dan (485.9077) or myself (485.4520).

For those who wanted to help with set up:
We will be setting up at church on Friday, July 30 from 9:00am-4:00pm. Feel free to come anytime to help with set up and pricing.

The actual Garage Sale Day is Saturday, July 31 from 9:00am-1:00pm in the Rockford Reformed Church Family Life Center. If you would like to help with that please let me know.

To all who are donating their time or their items: We thank you!!!

Day 79

I can't believe July is tomorrow! Man, this summer is just flying by! It won't be too long until our garage sale! Keep saving your stuff! If you really need to get it out of your house before the week of the sale please let me know.

In other news, Dan and I have passed our drug screen (shocking, I know), our HIV tests, had our physicals, TB tests and TDAP shots. I am planning on sending all that paperwork in tomorrow. Once that is all in we will be set to schedule our first homestudy. During this homestudy Kim will be coming to our house and doing an "in-depth" interview with both Dan and I. Pray for discernment because though I know almost no one fails a homestudy it is still nerve-racking being asked a myriad of questions about your relationships, family, sex life etc. Although I do understand that they do this to protect the kids it is somewhat frustrating to me that people accidentally get pregnant everyday while Dan and I, who are more than ready, have to jump through hoops. All right, enough venting...

My cousin, Lindsay said to me the other day, "Isn't it crazy to think that right now someone is pregnant with your child?" You know what? That is crazy to me....I really can't fathom it. I have wanted a child for so long and now that I am close I can't really imagine it. To be honest, it scares me. I'm going to be a Mom, Dan is going to be a Dad...We'll be parents!

Weird.

Scary.

Crazy.

Awesome.

Day 71

Well, this has been a rough weekend. Let me give you a bit of the back story:

Last week Sunday our high school youth group left for Colorado on a backpacking trip. This was Aaron's, our youth pastor's, last trip before he leaves to start the orphanage in Guatemala. We wanted this trip to really draw our youth closer to God and closer to each other.

Thursday evening I received a call that Audra Brownell, one of our beautiful youth, was struck on the head by a falling rock and killed. Being the super-sensitive person that I am, I have had the hardest time sleeping for the last few nights (I was sleeping great last night until the stupid tornado warning...). Thankfully, we were able to get the entire youth group home by Saturday night. This has been such a rough experience for them and my heart just breaks for what they are going through. My sister, who was on the trip, related to me that breaking the news to those kids and hearing them cry was the worse noise she has ever heard.

Please, please pray for our youth group. Three of our kids witnessed this tragedy and the rest are also deeply affected. Pray for the Brownell family as the visitation and funeral is this week. Pray for Aaron, he seems to be doing all right, but I know this is hard on both him and his wife Gwen (Audra was in her small group).

Audra was a beautiful girl with a love for Christ and a smile that could light up the room. Although those of us left behind are in pain, we have the hope and knowledge that she is with her Lord and Savior.











WE'LL MISS YOU AUDRA!

Day 66

Many of you have been curious as to how we are planning on decorating the baby's room. My tastes have changed quite a bit these last couple years. When I was in high school I was sure I was going to be doing a Beatrix Potter baby's room. Now, the thought of super-cutesy drives me crazy. I want to do a room that will be able to grow with him or her...using colors that would work well for a boy or girl. So, after doing a ton of looking, I have found a color combo that I LOVE! And, depending on the gender it could have very different accents to make it more "manly" or "girly." You ready for it?

This a great pic of the color combination:




And this is a pic of what kind of design we will be doing:



In this picture the color in the stripe is a lime green, since my house has too much green in it we will be doing that pretty yellow color in the first pic. I have a ton of wooden African accents that will look so cool and "rustic." Our crib is maple so that will help tie it in with the rest of the room. If it is a girl we will do something like that white flower that is on the wall...if it is a boy we will just leave the stripes plain. I am really excited and can't wait to paint!

Day 65

Well, we meet with Kim today. We received more paperwork to fill out...but none of it was really too bad. The only thing that will take a bit to do is to get drug/HIV tested and both of us also need physicals. As soon as that paperwork is in we will call Kim and schedule our "in-depth" homestudy. She said it will last about three hours. Yikes! The one thing that was somewhat disconcerting was learning that making an extra $140 put us in a different tax bracket which requires us to pay $5,000 MORE than we were expecting. Dan was NOT happy....nothing bugs a Spreadsheet Man more than having an unexpected $5,000 thrown at you. Good thing we are having a Garage Sale!!!!

Being the task-oriented person that I am, as soon as I got back from our meeting I scheduled my doctor's appointment and when I got home I finished all the paperwork that needs to be done. It feels so good knowing that all I need to do is bug Dan about scheduling his own appointment. :)

Also, because Kim will be visiting our home in the next couple weeks we are trying to make sure we get as much done as possible. Monday I put all our food back in the kitchen (YAY for new cupboards!), moved Sam out of his bedroom (don't worry, I made him a cave in the other bedroom...which he loves), and cleaned up the crib (it concerns me that the screws are missing though).

Tonight Dan and I worked on the garden. The baby bunnies had finally moved on and we spent a lot of time turning the compost into the soil. Hopefully I will be able to plant some delicious veggies soon!!!

Here some pics from tonight:




I conquer garden!




I was jealous...What took me a half an hour only took Dan about 10 minutes.




Fun times...I'm gonna feel it tomorrow though...

Day 60

Let's face it, thunderstorms are awesome. When I was younger I would always be the one staring out the window at the storm while my sister would be hiding under the covers. Of course, she could also have been hiding because I told her I saw a tornado coming...older sisters can be mean sometimes. Sorry Linds!!! :)

I was hoping to work in the yard this weekend but the stormy weather has forced me indoors. While I won't be hiding from tornadoes, I will be in my basement. I've decided to work one room at a time, cleaning and organizing from the bottom up. Tonight I tackle the dreaded laundry room...duh, duh, duh... Since our homestudy starts next Wednesday (the first part consists of them basically interviewing us at Bethany) we can expect our social worker to pay us a home visit by the 23rd. Yikes! So much to do. I figured that I would save myself a mental breakdown if I tackled each project room by room. I'll let you know how that goes. Dan's project is to clean the construction debris out of the garage. That means multiple trips to the dump. I know, you all wish you could live glamorous lives like Dan and I, right?

Also, I have been told by our knowledgeable "Garage Sale Guru" that we need to make sure that we receive a LOT of donations for the garage sale on July 31st because there is a lot of competition with summer garage sales. So, what I need from you is your donations. Go through your clothes, books, garages and set your stuff aside!

We will be setting up and pricing everything for the garage sale on Friday, July 30 and the actual garage sale will be on July 31st. I have fliers made if any of you would like to hand them out. I want to thank everyone who has offered to help.

Oh, and as far as donations go: Normally I would say, "Sure, bring the stuff over to my house." However, since we are going to be having our homestudy I really can't have my house overrun with garage sale items. So, you will be able to drop items off at my church (Rockford Reformed Church, 4890 - 11 Mile Rd.) July 26-30from 8:00am-4:00pm. I figured ya'll would understand.

Day 58

Everything is moving so fast and I am so excited!! Dan got a call from our social worker today and the first part of our homestudy begins next Wednesday. NEXT WEDNESDAY BABY!!!

The first part takes place at the Bethany offices…it is basically more of an interview. I’m a little worried about what they will ask because I’m not good under pressure. No worries though, Dan will be there!

Oh, and I have some more fun news; I set a date for our Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale. It will be July 30-31st at Rockford Reformed Church. So, if you have any items that you would like to donate to the garage sale, set them aside. All proceeds will go towards raising money for our adoption. And, if any of you are garage sale people and would like to help out please let me know. I am not really a garage sale person…the last time I had a garage sale I ended up practically giving things to people. It was pretty sad.

So, that is all my exciting news! Yay!!!!

Day 57

Well, things seem to be moving really fast with this adoption process. Yesterday we were told that we had been assigned our social worker and that she will be calling us this week to make an appointment for our homestudy!!! How exciting is that?!?!
Also, how scary is that?!?! I feel like there is so much that needs to be done. Mondays are my day off and I use them to clean the house, do laundry, get groceries etc… As I was doing the cleaning and seeing all that needs to be done I was suddenly very overwhelmed. I know that the homestudy is more like a home inspection, basically something to see if our house is safe to live in. After this weekend it should be. Dan is going to try to get the rest of the drywall up and the electrical plates in place. I realize that the social worker is not coming to the house to see how clean and organized I am…I get that. However, I just got overwhelmed by everything that I want done with organizing, painting, decorating. I know those things, in the long run, don’t really matter…but they matter to me. Plus, if I don’t get to these things now, how am I going to get to it when I have a kid?
Once our homestudy and everything is completed and our profile is out there (which should be all set by September) we could get chosen any time. So we could be parents anywhere from September on!!! I want everything ready and set before then because once a baby arrives I certainly am not going to have time to organize closets.
Being the list-maker that I am (seriously, sometimes I even write things on my list just so I can cross them off…Dan thinks I’m a little OCD) I am going to make a list of everything that I want done. I started making a list for the bedroom yesterday; here’s what we have to do:

Bedroom:
-Get blinds
-Make and/or find some curtains
-Add artwork to the walls
-finish the drywall
-Organize and re-do the closets

That doesn’t seem too bad and if I take it a week at a time I should be fine.

So, any of you organizers out there that want to donate your time…let me know and I will put you to work!!!

Day 52

I am heading to Bethany this afternoon to give them our full application, statement of faith, fingerprints, questionnaires, and our initial application fee. I am so excited. It is happening!!

Dan and I have talked a lot about our budget trying to think different ways that we can save and sacrifice. Dan is canceling his gym membership today (which is fine because we have a treadmill now and he doesn’t really use it in the summer anyway). We are also going to cancel our cable [*sniff]. We have done it before and have survived (albeit we drove family nuts with our constant Friends references because I had that playing in the background all the time). Prepare yourselves!!!

Although domestic adoption is much cheaper than international it is still very expensive and we are going to do all we can to raise the money through fundraising and grants (we can’t apply for grants until after our homestudy). I have an idea for a garage sale this summer so if you have stuff that you would like to donate, set it aside….I’ll give more information on that later, I need to clear a date on the church calendar first.

We aren’t too worried about the money though…people have been so generous.

Our adventure is just beginning!

Day 50

This past week was exciting for Dan and I as we spent a lot of time filling out our formal application for domestic infant adoption. Filling it out makes it seem 'real' to me. I am praying and hoping that the wait won't be too long. I sent the formal application in today and I am trying to get the other information, along with our first payment, into Bethany later this week.

Here is what the time-frame looks like for Dan and I:
-Once we get our paperwork and first payment into Bethany it will take about three months to process and get our home-study done.
-We will be assigned a social worker who will interview us and our references and then we need to start working on our profile. Our profile is what the birthmother uses to pick the parents of her child.
-Do our homestudy, (the social worker comes to our home to make sure it is 'baby-safe' i.e. no random holes in the wall or electrical wiring in random places. We would sooo fail a home study right now).
-After the homestudy is approved our profile is sent to Bethany where it will be published on their website and made available to prospective birthmothers. We are hoping that the wait will not be long but it is all dependent on a birthmother picking us. It could be right away, or it could be a year or more.

Not knowing when Dan and I will be parents could drive me crazy...but I have decided to use this time to get everything ready for Baby Van. There is so much that needs to be done. So, being the obsessive list maker that I am I have started a list of all the things that need to be done before Baby Van arrives....:

-Clean out and prepare Baby Van's bedroom. Right now it is Sam's room/catch-all for random items. It needs to be super cleaned and decorated. I am excited to start decorating.

-Obsessively read everything I can about parenting, babies, adoption, etc.

-Attempt to remove all evidence of drywall dust from my home. Mike and Dan laughed at me this weekend as I cleaned the keyboard with a Q-tip, but I know they appreciate a clean keyboard so keep laughing boys!!!

-Organize, organize, organize! I haven't really organized things since Dan and I moved in. Things are kind of just strewn about in different closets. Now that we are nearing the end of construction I no longer have an excuse.

So, that is the beginning of my list and the basic outline of what we know so far with the adoption process. I was again humbled this past week by receiving a check in the mail from one of my friends. We now have about half the initial application fee taken care of, which really, really helps. Dan and I are so very appreciative by the support of so many people and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!

I figured I would post a picture of how our kitchen is looking right now. Dan has done such a good job. We still need to get a sink, countertop, and tile the backsplash but I think it is lookin' good! I'm so thankful for a handy husband. Oh, AND he hooked up the dishwasher without us having a sink. How cool is that!?!? No more doing dishes in the bathroom sink! WAHOO!!!

Day 44 - More Blessings

I got back to church today and received an anonymous donation for our adoption fund. Poor Jan had to deal with my tears..

So, whomever it is who dropped that donation off, THANK YOU!!!! Thank you for being part of another adoption, for helping to bring my child home. The fact that you thought of Dan and I has touched our hearts more than anything.

THANK YOU!

...time to go find more Kleenex!

Domestic Adoption

This post is for those of you who are curious what 'domestic adoption' will mean for Dan and I.

What is domestic infant adoption?
Infant adoption is the adoption of a newborn or very young child (Dan and I will be adopting a newborn) whose birthparent has made the difficult decision that she is unable to parent at that point. These parents love and wish that they could parent their children but feel that adoptive placement is the best decision for their children. The parents relinquish their rights voluntarily. The majority of birthparents select and meet the prospective adoptive parents and want some level of openness in their adoption, which refers to a level of contact after the placement.

How long will we wait for a child?
This varies depending on when we are chosen by a birthmother, however, since Dan and I are younger and live in a nice neighborhood, chances are we will be chosen sooner rather than later.

What about ongoing contact with the birthparents?
Almost all domestic adoptions have some level of openness or contact between the adoptive and birthfamilies. The degree of openness is determined before placement. (Now, initially this scared me. In fact, going into this adoption process, most of you know I wanted to do international all the way. I shut my mind to domestic adoption...but God had other plans. At the end of the day it is just one more person who loves the child as much as you do. I am nervous about this aspect as it is the one thing that initially kept me from domestic adoption, but I have a feeling God knows what He is doing.)

So...this is the road that Dan and I are traveling. Like I said in my previous posting, I know risks are involved...but in the end a child will have a home, and parents will have a child. How cool is that?!?

Risk

If you are going to really live your life, you are going to have to expect to take some risks. There are inherent risks involved in nearly every decision a person makes.

If you drive a car - there are risks
If you become pregnant - there are risks
If you buy a home - there are risks

In our case:
If you adopt internationally - there are risks
If you adopt domestically - there are risks

Nothing about this adoption process is easy. I never imagined that it would be so hard to get pregnant (and yes, I know that some people think that we are jumping the gun with this adoption because they think 16 months of trying isn't waiting long enough...I say, take it up with God because this is what He has called us to). God has a plan for our lives and it includes adoption. :)

Last week I said that Dan and I are considering domestic adoption. After numerous calls to Bethany and a lot of research and prayer, Dan and I have switched to domestic adoption. Will we one day adopt internationally? Yes. But the timing just isn't right. Once a person's eyes are opened to the orphan crisis, it is impossible to close them. I will always be an advocate of adoption (both international and domestic) because there are children out there who are in desperate need of homes.

Later this week I will talk about what domestic adoption entails, the difference in wait and cost, etc. Thank you for your prayers!

In the meantime, if you have the time and would like to read the amazing journey of another domestic adoption, check out Rebekah's site. It will touch your heart!

Thank you!

Lets be honest...not being a mom has been difficult for me these last few weeks...perhaps because we just had Mother's Day. I don't know. As Dan and I struggle to discern God's will, we want to thank those of you who have been so encouraging. Please know that your messages, emails, notes, and hugs have touched me so much. Thank you.

I especially want to thank one person in particular. This past week I was struggling with whether or not we were really supposed to go forward with adoption. Were Dan and I really called to adopt? I prayed Wednesday morning that God would give me a sign that we were on the right path, that we were supposed to adopt.

That afternoon I checked my mailbox. Inside was a note from a relative with a check enclosed for "Baby Van." I started balling before I even reached our front door (I'm sure my neighbors thought I was completely crazy). I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I was for that sign...and for that couple who thought of us. Please know that God used you!

That night Dan and I had a long talk/cry about the adoption. Basically, we know we are called to adopt, there is no longer any doubt in our minds. However, we are no longer sure if we are going to do international or domestic. This is a huge decision and we want to make the right one. We talked with Bethany this week about how "open" open adoptions are and what they said really eased my fears. If that is the route we go with I will tell you more about it later.

So...as Dan and I look to discern God's will, please pray for us. It may seem like we are being 'flighty' by going back and forth with this...but we are just trying to work out what God's will is...not what we want. :)

On a lighter note, Dan's sister had her baby last week. I wished we lived closer so that we could see him. His name is Robert Charles Folkestad and he is beautiful.

Congratulations Amy and Andy! He is just too cute!!!

What if...

God has been working on my heart lately. Here is a poem I found on one adoption website (www.allgodschildren.org) that really spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you as well.

What if...
No one cared that you had been born?
No one saw your first smile or encouraged your first steps?
You never felt a mother's love or a father's embrace?
You longed for a family that never came and hoped for a home that lived only in your dreams?


Orphaned children are all over the world waiting...hoping...praying that they will become dear to someone.
That somewhere there will be one special family that finds joy and great delight in welcoming them into their home.
Each one waits expectantly, with a hopeful heart for a family to come, each tiny soul daring to rehearse secret dreams for the future...
Is there room in your heart for a child?

There isn't too much to report on where we are in the adoption process. We received our massive formal application packet in the mail this past week which will take a bit to fill out.

Keep praying for Mr. Spreadsheet Man... ;)

Faith and Finances...

We are so happy that God has answered our prayer in showing us where to adopt. We figured we would share with ya'll what our next steps are:

The first step is a to fill out the formal application packet. I have heard that this is quite lengthy and could take awhile.

After that is processed we will be assigned a social worker who will work with us on our homestudy. I'm not sure how long this takes. I'm assuming quite a bit...I haven't talked to my "source" about this yet...she's busy the upcoming auction. :)

We have trusted God to show us where to adopt... now we just need to trust Him with the money. This step is more difficult for Dan than it is for me. Dan is Mr. Spreadsheet Man...

Because the fees happen so close together we need to try to raise the initial $8,500 as soon as possible (Dan wants to wait and raise the money first, where as I want to go, go, go). There are so many other additional costs that go along with this as well, totaling $28,000-$32,000!!!

So, right now we are asking for prayers from you, along with any fundraising ideas that you may have! You can leave a comment below if you have any ideas.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your prayers!

WE HAVE OUR ANSWER!!!!

Well, God gave us our answer by closing all the doors and leaving one wide open.

This morning we were told that Korea would only approve us for special needs children, which is something that we are not ready for.

Domestic adoption was another option. Dan 'happened' to call Jan today to figure out where we were in the approval process and there 'happened' to be a domestic infant adoption meeting tonight. During the meeting they stated that most birthparents chose open or semi-open adoption (that means that there is contact with the birthparents including monthly visits, phone calls, letter etc.). Bethany only had 3 closed adoptions last year and those were what they call "safe" babies which are babies that are taken away from the mother because the mother is unfit to raise the child due to drugs, alcohol or a mental condition.

So, Dan and I looked at each other during the meeting and said, "We have our answer."

ETHIOPIA!!!

We cannot tell you how excited we are to have a direction that God has pointed us to. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

Answers

Well, we have some more information from Bethany.

Ethiopia is saying we can move ahead with them. Colombia is still waiting to hear from the in-country staff. Korea says we are approved for children with special needs.

So it will either be Ethiopia or domestic adoption. Columbia is a 3-4 year wait, which is something we will keep in mind for the future.

We have a meeting at Bethany tonight regarding domestic adoption. Hopefully we will receive some answers and God will make His will apparent.

Please keep us in your prayers!

The Reason Why

Many of my family members and co-workers have received this letter. However, for those who haven't and are curious as to why we are adopting read on.


"In 2009 Dan and I decided it was time to start a family. We both assumed it would be easy as most people in our family have gotten pregnant just by holding hands. However, after four months I was still not pregnant and the stress of it was making me unhappy with myself and bitter towards those who were getting pregnant. In effort to take pressure off, Dan told me not to worry and that four months was not a long time to still not be pregnant. Dan also stated (assuming it would never happen) that is we could not have kids we would just adopt. This took a lot of pressure off me and I was able to celebrate with those who were pregnant. I had always wanted to adopt someday and Dan was not against it, but we had never really given it too much thought.
We continued trying to have a child and as the months continued to go by we still did not get pregnant. Through prayer and thoughtful consideration we decided to set a time-frame for when we would adopt. We figured if we were not pregnant in April of 2010 that God was telling us He wanted us to adopt. Again, we assumed that we would be pregnant long before that time. However, as the months ticked by and we got closer and closer to the deadline, we both started to doubt that we would get pregnant. We prayed more and more about it in an effort to seek His will. The closer we got to the date, the more we felt adoption was what God wanted us to pursue. By the last two months, even though we were still trying to have a child, we both had the feeling that it was not going to happen because God wanted something else for us.
So with great excitement and anticipation we would like to tell you that we have begun the process of adopting a child. We are working with Bethany Christian Services as we have had many peope use and recommend them. Depending on the country we adopt from, this process could be as short as one year or as long as two and a half years. So your prayers are welcomed during this waiting period.
We are excited to share this news with you and look forward to the months ahead and the eventual arrival of baby Van."

And the run-around begins...

Many of you are wondering if there is an update or if we have made our decision as to which country we will be going with. The answer to that is "no."

It took an entire week of me calling the doctor's office every single day to get a three sentence note from my doctor, which I sent to Bethany on Friday. We applied for three different countries (Columbia, Ethiopia, and South Korea) since we are not positive which one we will be choosing. Right now it is just a waiting game to see what countries we will be approved for.

Domestic adoption is another option, but we will be talking to Jan later this week about it. We don't want to close doors if they are doors that God wants open.

On another note we have begun our kitchen remodel. For those of you who don't know, Dan and I bought a foreclosure and there is a LOT of work to be done (especially if we want to be approved for a homestudy!). So, here is what my kitchen looks like now:




When it is done it will look very nice and I look forward to a time when I can cook for my entire family. I know God has a child already picked out for us and that brings me comfort...and makes me ache to hold that child.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Praise:
-My sister-in-law, Dana, graduated from college. Congrats!
-Aaron and Gwen made it to Ethiopia safely and are anxiously waiting to meet their new son!
-Congrats to my friend Olga who gets married this week in California! I'm sad I can't go but I am so happy for her!
-We were able to get the note from the doctor...slowly but surely! :)

Prayer Requests:
-Keep Aaron in Gwen in your prayers as they travel home (Friday, April 30).
-Pray for wisdom for Dan and I as to what country we should adopt from. If it is Ethiopia, pray that you will hit us with a two by four because we would have to raise $32,000 very, very quickly.
-Pray also for Dan and my dad as they work on our kitchen. Oh, and pray for extra patience for me because, being the clean freak that I am, the state of my kitchen right now scary!

Thanks for all of your support and prayers this week. I must say that I was so encouraged by the outpouring of love from some of you this past week. I cannot tell you how much that means to us. Thank you.

With much love and prayer,

Decisions

I barely slept last night in anticipation of today's meeting and I was distracted all day. 1:00 could not come soon enough.

The meeting at Bethany started off well. There were only two other couples, which made it much more personal. We began by going over the basic steps of inter-country adoption and then Jan went over the different countries that have adoption programs through Bethany. To be honest, when she started talking about the situations in some orphanages I just wanted to scoop all those kids up and take them home.

Dan and I were interested in the South Korea adoption program but, unfortunately, Bethany is only given four slots each year and 2010 has already been filled. We can be put on the waiting list for 2011, but if we do that it is still a 12-16 month process...meaning we would have to wait nearly 2.5 years (or more!) to receive our child.

Ethiopia is another country to which we qualify. They have added new orphanages to their program which is making the process move more quickly. However, it may move too quickly for Dan and I to raise the money that we would need.

Dan and I got in the car after the meeting and just sat there in silence. It was quiet most of the ride home as we processed all that we had heard. Questions rolled around in my mind, "Can I wait 2 and a half years to get a child?" "Should we go with Ethiopia?" "If we do go with Ethiopia how will Dan handle it (he has always had a special place in his heart for Asian countries)?" "Would we be able to come up with the money fast enough if we did go with Ethiopia?" These questions overwhelmed both Dan and myself. After sitting down at home and talking about it we have come to these conclusions:

-We could put ourselves on the waiting list for South Korea, giving ourselves the time to set aside the money without stress.

-We could apply for a child from Ethiopia and work extra hard at saving and applying for grants, waiting until we get most of the money in before having our full application processed.

-Or...do we go a different route and do domestic adoption? Jan seemed to think we would be "great" candidates for the program, but we have some really strong reservations about it and my heart is in inter-country adoption.

Mainly, we need to see where God wants us to adopt. On Monday I will need to call the doctor and get a "strongly-worded note" stating that the ridiculously low dose of medication I am on will NOT affect my ability to parent a child. Then we just need to get the preliminary application approved. Since we don't know which country we are going with yet, we will apply for both. However, once we are approved we need to make a decision about whether to move quickly, or whether we hurry up and wait. God has seen us through this far and I am sure that He will give us an answer. "Faith is not the absence of conflict..." ...but it sure would help if He wrote it on a billboard... :)

Prayer Requests:
-Pray that God will direct us to the country of His choosing....or steer us towards domestic adoption...
-Pray for patience and understanding. We both know this will be a long process...but Dan has more patience than I do. I want a child yesterday... :)

Praise:
-We rejoice with Aaron, Gwen, Gavin and Whitney as Aaron and Gwen leave this weekend to pick up their new son, Tariku, from Ethiopia!!!

Thank you all for your congratulations and prayer. Please pray hard this weekend as we have these important decisions to make!

Thank you!

With Prayer and Love,

Beginnings

If you are reading this blog then you know that Dan and I have made a step toward adoption. We are looking to adopt a child from South Korea.

We will post more information after our meeting at Bethany on Friday. Please keep us in your prayers as we move forward in faith! Thank you!