Day 253

Adoption.

The road of adoption is hard...but the rewards are even greater.

I was reading one of my adoption blogs and came across this story that I wanted to share:


Jodi and her husband took the stand that if they started talking about baby's adoption from day 1, they would get enough practice in by the time the child was old enough to ask questions (when the story really matters). She said every night she would tell baby, "Mommy and Daddy prayed a long time for you, do you know that? We loved you so much we traveled all the way to Guatemala to get you. Mama Melinda loved you so much, but wasn't able to feed you, so she let us bring you home so you could live a long healthy life." They lived next to an airport and Jodi would point to the sky and say, "Look, baby, Mommy and Daddy took an airplane just like that one to go to Guatemala." She said by the time baby was 1 he would ask "Mama plane" he wanted to hear the plane story every night before he went to bed. Jodi said his adoption story was celebrated; an every-day part of their lives, and baby was fascinated by it. One day they were at the park (baby was 2 1/2) and a nearby mom said, "You must look just like your daddy!" [why do so many people feel the need to ask this question?] Baby looked up at the mom and exclaimed, "I'm a Guatemalan baby!" Baby proceeded to tell his story, "Mama and Daddy loved me so much they went all the way to Guatemala to get me. Even when I was in Mama Melinda's belly they prayed for me..." Jodi said she about fell to the ground. She had never heard him talk about his story and at 2 1/2 didn't realize he understood so much of it. Her heart swelled at her son's secure, confident identity. This same scenario has played out multiple times through his short 5 years.


How heart-warming that story is!!! Although Dan and I will not be traveling to a far away place to get our baby, we will still be celebrating his or her adoption story. We will celebrate and be grateful for the birthparents who loved their child so much that they wanted what was best for it. We can't wait for the day when we can tell our child's adoption story.

Day 252

We have recieved a note from our social worker who encouraged us to hang in there because there are quite a few birthparents that are in the process of looking into adoption.

Although I would love to give updates on when birthmothers are looking at us to you all....I just don't think that I can do that anymore. At some point Dan and I need to stop and just protect our hearts. I cannot go around telling people to pray about a birthmother who may possibly pick us only to have to turn around and say, "Oh, yeah, nevermind...she picked someone else." It is too hard.

So, while you won't hear updates about prospective children please keep praying because it is pretty hard, especially during the holidays. Thank you!

Day 248

Thank you all for your prayers for us during these very hard couple of days. Although it has been difficult for Dan and myself, we have felt so encouraged by all the prayers, emails, texts, messages, and expressions of love. Thank you.

I've been trying to think why this hit me so hard when nothing is for sure with adoption and I have come to the following conclusions:
1. God saw my large list and decided to give us more time to finish it. ;)
2. Everyone else got so excited about the possibility that we could have a baby by Christmas and I got caught up in it.
3. Dan was REALLY excited about the possibility (usually he is the calm one who doesn't ever think anything is a for sure until it happens).
4. I thought that we would get picked by at least one of the birthmothers!!! I mean, who wouldn't want to pick us!?!?!

Anyway, I am traveling back up the emotional roller coaster and I'm hoping to close myself off from getting too excited again because those big, emotional downward spirals are not fun for anyone. I found a verse while I was reading my Bible yesterday that just really hit me and I thought I would share it:

"Those that plant with tears will harvest with shouts of joy."
~ Psalm 126.5 ~

I tell you what, when God deems it our time, we will be shouting for joy.

Day 246

I'm an emotional wreck today.

I thought I could handle going to work and having people ask me questions but I just can't. I know there is another baby out there for us. I know God has a plan. But right now I just hurt. I am so thankful for family and friends who are praying for us right now. That means a lot. But I can't talk about it right now....maybe in a couple days.

Right now, I am going to stay home (I'm thankful for co-workers who understand) and cuddle with my furry baby until the tears stop.

Both birthmothers selected other families.

Day 245

No word yet. But I did receive a wonderful prayer from a friend today that really touched me. It is good to know that we have so much love and support from everyone. Thank you.



Dear God,


Be with my friends Trisha and Dan right now. I don't know what is happening or what is going on with the adoptions but Lord, I see them aching to provide for another Human being and to be blessed with a Baby and it hurts to see some friends aching.


Lord, send your spirit on Trisha and Dan and give them peace. Though I have no idea what they are going through, you, Lord, do know what they are going through, and you, Lord, know when and where and how you will provide for them.


I trust in your wonderful wisdom for them. I trust in your awesome power for them. I trust in your perfect love for them.



bless my friends, Lord.




amen

Day 244

Thank goodness God has given me the ability to compartmentalize! Instead of thinking about that dear sweet baby boy who may or may not be in the hospital and wondering why the birthmother hasn't yet made a decision, I have decided to distract myself by writing lists. I love writing lists. I plan on not being depressed by working on this list until we hear from Bethany:

- Prepare the diaper bag in case we get a last minute call. This includes finding the perfect baby outfit to bring baby Van home in. I'm still looking. I'm leaning toward something with dinosaurs on it. ;)

- Finish the nursery. This one could take awhile to do.
>Dan has the first coat of paint done.
>I am working on a painting of an African sunset for the nursery.
>Dan needs to paint the crib, the bookcase, and we need to get our changing table
>I would love to get our glider and our safari rug before we have baby....those are a "we'll see" right now though....

- Buy and read through "What to Expect the First Years." Why not be prepared before baby comes!?