Life is Blessed

Court Date

2011-12-17T18:49:00.004-05:00

Not even 8 months old and Sienna has already been to court.

Don't worry, it was a good reason. She hasn't turned into baby clepto (although there are random toys that keep mysteriously showing up in her diaper bag). :)

Every December (usually) the Kent County Circuit Court saves up all it's adoption finalizations for one day. That day was Thursday, December 15.

Although I didn't necessarily feel like going to court it actually turned out to be a very neat thing. The judge stated that he loves working on this day because most families who come through his courtroom are getting torn apart...on this day a family was being made. He read a poem about adoption and then signed all the paperwork with his "adoption pen" (an outrageous pen with bows and jingle bells, it was quite hilarious). Finally, he came down and presented us with our paperwork and Sienna with a little teddy bear.

Seeing all the other families that were there, coming together in celebration was very cool and I couldn't help but feel eternally blessed.

Dan and I celebrated 8 years of marriage that week as well. Needless to say, I think that year 7 was our favorite. :)

Okay...a real update

2011-11-24T19:37:00.007-05:00

Life has become even more busy since my previous (real) update in August. Perhaps "busy" is not to right word. "Exhausting" fits better.

Why?

Well, shocking as it was to all of us, I got pregnant.

Yeah.

Really.

Baby #2's due date?

April. Yes...April. You know, the same month Sienna was born.

Siblings born less than a year apart!

Craziness. I think that God has a sense of humor. :)

Other than that bit of news and the exhaustion that comes with being pregnant, being a mom to a 7 month old (!), and working....things have been great.

My extra free time has recently been taken up by researching adoption/orphan care ministry. I feel like this is something that our church should be involved in...so I've been doing a lot of research about it. Nothing concrete is in the works as of yet...this is just something I have been thinking and praying about.

Reading up on the orphan crisis makes me so thankful for such a beautiful family. The word family is so intimate. It is people who stick by your side, who love you no matter what...and it doesn't just include those genetically related to us....it has grown to include friends (like 5th brother Mike & his FIANCE, Adrianne!!!), our beautiful daughter who is such a treasure, and our birthparents. We have been so blessed.

Truly....

...life is blessed.

(I can't update without showing off pictures of Sienna....she is growing soooo much! She does something new every day and is definitely developing a goofy sense of humor. Her new favorite thing: "kissing" which consists of chewing on people's faces. Normally that wouldn't be too bad...except for her two teeth!!!)

Update...

2011-11-23T20:19:00.002-05:00

So...I've been told I need to update.

Here you go:

UPDATE!!!

;)

Sorry....Bottles and laundry are calling me...as is my pillow.

Mmmmm....pillow....

Babies, babies everywhere!

2011-08-16T17:04:00.003-04:00

It seems that no matter where I look I am surrounded by pregnant women. There are so many people on Dan's side of the family that are pregnant...and all are due within 4 months of each other.

Normally this wouldn't bug me. I have a BEAUTIFUL daughter who was meant to be in my life and I couldn't be more happy.

However, a couple weeks ago my doctor told me that I was "infertile." This does not mean that I could never get pregnant...it just means that it could take longer than the 2 year mark that "normal" people get pregnant in. We have been trying for 4 years and we haven't stopped trying yet. We would love to have a brother or sister for Sienna to play and grow up with.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just a little jealous. I remember hearing our birthmother talk about feeling Sienna moving around and kicking, all the while wishing that I could experience that as well. Because of this, seeing all the pregnant women experience what I didn't has been difficult.

That being said, if we ever do get pregnant we want people to know that it would be, in every sense of the word, our SECOND child. We have had people ask us if we wanted a "child of our own," and while well meaning, we believe this is the wrong way to think of it. Sienna was meant to be part of our family and is one of our own. A biological child would in no way be more special or somehow be more "our own" just because it would share our genetics. Sienna is our firstborn and we love her with all of our hearts.

I mean, come on, who couldn't love this precious girl?!?!

Say "Thank You!"

2011-06-19T07:10:00.003-04:00

I have decided that you never REALLY know how much your parents love you until you become a parent yourself.

You don't realize how often you cried for absolutely no reason, your parents trying everything to make things "all better."

You don't realize that when you were a baby, your parents counted how many times you peed to make sure you weren't dehydrated.

You don't realize that your parents HAD to have a sense of humor when you go to the bathroom, RIGHT AFTER they changed you (or sometimes during the changing. Guess what? Poop shoots!).

You don't realize that after countless sleepless nights, they still love you and put your needs in front of their own (like eating, who needs that?!?!?!).

You don't realize that many parents have longed and prayed for you...some waited longer than others, some became parents in "different" ways, but in the end, they love you with all of their heart.

So this Father's Day, give an extra hug to your dad (and your mom!). Tell him how much you love him, and say thank you!

And thank you to the father's in my life!!! We love you!

Busy, busy, busy

2011-06-03T13:51:00.007-04:00

Just when I think I have finally gotten the hang of this mothering thing, I go and get myself sick. Dan has been awesome and has sacrificed a lot of sleep to try to get me healthy again. Although this morning he did tease me about my horrible immune system. Apparently Sienna's is better than mine as well!!!
Other than being sick this week, things have been great. I love being a mom and I don't think I could love this little girl any more than I already do. I was asked at our recent Memorial Day picnic if I ever get surprised by the fact that I am a mom....Like, do I forget that there is actually a baby in the house. I don't....probably because I have been anticipating this moment for such a long time.
I love being part of the "Mommy club" and I can't remember what in the world I used to talk about before Sienna. Granted, I do still have people asking me insensitive questions like, "How long do you have to see the birthparents?" or "Does it feel weird raising someone else's baby?"
I don't want to go on a huge rant here but I want to dispel a few myths about open adoption with us:
Each adoption is different. We have a great relationship with our birthparents. We love, respect, and pray for them and we see them every week. We don't "have" to do meet with them at all. We choose to because we WANT to! We want Sienna to grow up know who her birthparents are. We want her to know what an incredible gift she was and how incredibly loved she is by ALL of us! They are not just going to go away. We don't want them to and they don't want to. They will be at events (like her upcoming baptism) and we want them to be. Without them, there would be no Sienna. :)
I'm hoping to keep up a little more with the blogging now that we are on more of a schedule. Meanwhile, enjoy the pictures of this beautiful girl!

Adjusting to Perfection

2011-05-12T11:12:00.000-04:00

When you have a newborn, you quickly realize how little time you have for other things. Life lately has consisted of staring at Sienna, sleeping, eating when we can, and showing off our daughter. I'm not complaining at all. I LOVE it!!

Little time is left for blogging. However, I have mighty aspirations of finishing the re-design of the blog this weekend AND getting pictures done for her birth announcements!

So, as you wait for that here is a little taste of what is to come:

Sweet Sienna

2011-04-25T19:48:00.004-04:00

I will update about the hospital story later. I don't have enough energy or brainpower to do that right now. For the moment I thought I would let you all know our schedule so you can come and visit! Many of you have been waiting and praying and we can't wait to see you!

This week:

Tuesday - In the afternoon (We have our first doctor's appointment in the morning).

Wednesday - Late morning/early afternoon. We are seeing our birthparent's that night so we won't be available.

Thursday - Anytime!

Friday - Anytime!

Saturday - We have a wedding so we won't be around...

Next week:

I'll let you know for sure but pretty much every day works!

See you all soon! I know there are many people who are anxious to see this precious little one!

Sienna Noelle

2011-04-23T21:30:00.002-04:00

Sweet Sienna was born Thursday, April 21, 2011 at 7:24am.

She was 8 lbs. 14 oz. and 22 1/4 inches!

She is also the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. She is such a good little girl and sooo alert! We haven't brought her home yet...maybe tomorrow.

It really will be a glorious Easter!

Thank you for all your prayers!

Update

2011-04-18T16:04:00.001-04:00

No baby today...she is stubborn.

The inducement is scheduled for Thursday.

Day 369

2011-04-18T11:31:00.003-04:00

Could today be the day?

The day I have waited not just 9 months for...but YEARS for?!?!?

The day where I get to hold my daughter in my arms?

Our birthmother has her appointment at 2:00 today. This appointment will determine whether they induce today...or Thursday.

Please be today!

This morning I am trying to think of last minute things to get done: Laundry, vacuuming up Sam hair, going to the recycling center, showering...

By the way, I think all of your prayers are doing the trick because I actually slept surprisingly well last night.

Please continue to pray for our awesome birthparents, Dan and myself, and our baby girl.

We'll keep you up to date!

Stay tuned...

Impatiently Waiting...

2011-04-09T19:37:00.005-04:00

We aren't the only ones waiting impatiently for Baby Girl!

Day 364

2011-04-07T10:14:00.004-04:00

Well, today is the day that Dan picked for Baby girl to come. Normally, I don't like Dan to be right but in this case, I'm fine with that! In an effort to distract ourselves while waiting for her Dan and I have been going to town on our house. On Tuesday Dan built and put in our kitchen island. It looks AWESOME! I have so much more room to cook! What is super-cute is that Dan made one side more deep so that baby girl's high chair will be able to fit under it. Dan just needs to sand it down, stain it, and put the poly coat on it. Here is a picture of it so far: Dan has also been working on covering up the ugly wood paneling that has been in our living room. Dan thought it looked fine but finally agreed to cover it up when he had our house appraised and the appraiser said, "With all the work you have done on this house I'm surprised you didn't cover that up." Haha! Score! It already makes our living room look so much brighter! Dan just needs to sand the last coat, apply primer and paint. Needless to say, Dan has been very busy. I have been cleaning up after Dan's messes..and waiting impatiently for our baby. Who knows, perhaps today will be the day that I finally get to hold my child in my arms...

Day 357

2011-03-31T17:56:00.003-04:00

Well, Baby Girl still hasn't decided to come out yet. E has just made too good of a home for her. Truthfully, I'm hoping she waits until at least tomorrow to start because I woke up today feeling horrible. I think the anticipation and lack of sleep is just getting to me.

We do have more guesses to add though:

Aunt Deb - Sunday, April 3. Weight: 8 lbs. 8 oz.

Lindsey D. - Monday, April 4. Weight: 8 lbs. 6 oz.

Shannon - Tuesday, April 5 at 10:40pm. Weight: 7 lbs. 15 oz.

Bonnie - Friday, April 8. Weight: 7 lbs. 5 oz. 20"

Day 356

2011-03-30T08:25:00.005-04:00

In the spirit of March Madness (and perhaps because his bracket is doing so poorly) Bryan decided at staff meeting yesterday that we all needed to place our bets as to when Baby Girl will be born.

So...here we go, Baby Girl will be born:

*Trisha - Wednesday, March 30 at 8:57pm. Weight: 7 lbs, 8 oz.

*Beth - Friday, April 1. Weight: 7 lbs. 14 oz, 20 inches

*Ben - Friday, April 1 at 1:35am. Weight: 10 lbs. 4 oz. (Ben is mean by the way...)

*Brenda - Friday, April 1 at 4:00am. Weight: 7 lbs. 3 oz.

*Marcia - Sat., April 2 at 3:00am. Weight: 7 lbs. 4 oz

*Linda - Sat., April 2 at 8:47pm. Weight: 6 lbs. 13 oz.

*Mom - Sunday, April 3 (I think she want her born on their anniversary). Weight: 7 lbs. 6 oz.

*Rick - Tuesday, April 5. Weight: 7 lbs. 1 oz.

*Dan - Thursday, April 7. Weight: 8 lbs. 2 oz.

*Bryan - Sat., April 9. Weight: 7 lbs. 12 oz. (Hopefully he is as bad at guessing this as he was at his basketball bracket). :)

If anyone else wants to put their vote in let me know soon!

How We Entertain Ourselves on a Lazy Saturday Morning...

2011-03-28T11:02:00.002-04:00

Day 350

2011-03-24T16:32:00.004-04:00

Why has it been so hard for me these last few weeks of waiting?

I will give you a couple reasons:

1). I can't listen to my body...I can't tell how Baby Girl is doing, or if it seems close. I have to wait for a phone call (and that is fine...it is just harder). There is progress though...E is dilated one cm already!

2). After years of waiting we are finally getting close to having a child and my arms are literally aching to hold her...

3). I'm afraid that I will wake up one day and find out my dream of being a parent is just that...a dream.

So bear with me as we near the end.

On a side note:

My cousin Carrie had her baby girl yesterday! I can't wait to see pictures and celebrate with her.

Also, two other women from my Bible study are due this week....I'm hoping we all have our babies on the same day. :)

Day 347

2011-03-21T22:37:00.004-04:00

We have had a very busy weekend. Friday night Dan and I went to pick out our glider. For those of you who don't know this is like a rocking chair but better. Perfect for those early morning feedings. The nursery is nearly complete now...as you can see in the pictures below.

Dan still needs to install the closet doors....but at least this way you can see how many clothes she has! These have all been washed and are ready to go! I need to hang a couple more pictures or shelves...but other than that I am pretty happy with how it turned out.

It is so crazy to me how close it is. We meet with our birthparents last night (also, because I'm sick of typing and formulating sentences around "our birthmother/father," I will call our birthmother "E" and our birthfather "L"). E is getting very uncomfortable and her back is just killing her. We are all hoping that baby girl comes sooner, rather than later. Actually, I was hoping that this past weekend's "super moon" (http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2011/16mar_supermoon/) would suck Baby Girl out. No such luck though.

I'm so excited, and nervous, and scared, all in one package. I know I should be getting as much sleep as possible right now but I keep thinking that the phone is going to ring in the middle of the night and we'll have to spring into action. Already this child is wrecking havoc on my sleep schedule. :)

Tonight is my shower thrown by the high school/college girls and their leaders. I'll try to post pics of that and my other showers....if baby girl doesn't come before then!!!

Day 343

2011-03-17T15:13:00.002-04:00

Phew! Not too much longer to go! Baby girl could be born any day now. I can hardly believe that I will be a mom soon! After waiting for such a long time, after so many dashed hopes and dreams, it is finally happening!!!

I talked to our birth mother last night and she said that Baby Girl is happy and healthy (and perfect...which, given our birthparents, isn’t a surprise). Although Baby Girl seems to be trying to stretch out her ‘home’ as much as possible. Our poor birthmother...she is a very petite person and now that Baby Girl has grown to a larger size it is getting pretty hard on her back (if you could all say a prayer for her that would be great).

Dan and I got the car seat this weekend and are going to get a car seat tech to install it later this week or early next week...and...the nursery is nearly ready. After two wonderful showers, two weeks in a row we are almost prepared! We really only need a couple more things before we are set (glider, burp clothes, and everyday onesies). I swear, this child has more clothes than I do already! Can we say SPOILED!!!

What is really sweet is that the high school and college girls at our church want to throw me a shower. How sweet is that? I know you hear (read) this all the time from me, but we are so very blessed and this child is already soooo loved. I can’t wait to see and hold her!

FYI – Two people were able to guess Baby Girl’s name...only one guessed it off of Dan’s silly (and confusing) riddle last week. Good job Dave & Tim!!!

Husband Guest Blog #2

2011-03-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

So guest blogger Dan is back. It is only 3 ½ weeks away from baby girl’s due date. Everyone wants to know what her name will be. Now, Trisha probably doesn’t want to give more clues, however, there has been a massive security breach and a bunch of people have discovered her name. No one really guessed it except for Tim, but games are fun so I will give more clues. A person could easily discover the name by reading the following:

A woman had six necklaces. Each necklace has a pink bead at the beginning of each string. The women worked at a zoo with six pairs of giraffes. Now each of these necklaces belonged to one of the pairs of giraffes, but she could not figure out which was which so she asked the grizzled old janitor who had worked there for years. The man replied, “Show ‘em the first bead in the sequence, but remember to start with the first paira giraffes.”

Couldn’t be clearer.

Day 326

2011-02-28T12:20:00.002-05:00

So, Dan called me this morning freaking out because tomorrow was March. We have a little over a month until the due date! Ahhh!!! After waiting for so very long it seems so strange to finally be at this point.

I was reading through a couple of my adoption blogs this morning and came across an article about open adoption. This is such a great article that really tries to explain the mystery behind open adoption...something that not everyone understands. So, take a peek:

What Do You Think About Open Adoption?
Posted on 18 February 2011 by Kari Gibson

I live in a house full of boys (even the dog!), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our oldest son is 4½ and our newest addition is not quite 3 months of age. We were present in the delivery rooms of both of our sons, and brought them each home from the hospital. Each adoption was completely different, though in both we have open relationships with the boys’ birth families.
We chose to have to pursue open adoption for a variety of reasons. When we started thinking about adoption we had no idea what open adoption was and assumed all kinds of things – the birth parents would still have some kind of parenting role in the baby’s life; the baby would be confused about who his/her “real” parents were; seeing the baby would make the birth parents want to take him/her back; etc… You see, we were thinking of our children as OURS, hubby’s and mine, like possessions. But they’re not. Way before they were part of our family, they were part of other families who loved (still do love) them. And, in my opinion, by having no further contact with those other families, we’re trying to pretend that they didn’t exist, or at least like they don’t matter. But those other families are the only reason these phenomenal kids exist. Also, they know parts of the boys’ stories that I don’t know, parts that I think they have a right to know.
What we learned in our adoption classes is that continued contact (in some form) is actually beneficial in the child’s development, and in helping the birth family heal. Kids do have questions as they get older – who do I look like, do other people in my family have certain characteristics or talents, does anyone else in my family have a history of asthma, and biggest of all, why did they choose to make an adoption plan? These are all huge questions that I can’t answer for my boys. And while we certainly realize that so many kids who are adopted won’t be able to get these questions answered, we have the opportunity and shouldn’t we use it??!
As far as our children being confused about who their parents are, it’s simply not an issue. I’m the one who nursed them (yes, I breastfed/am breastfeeding both of our sons). We changed all of their diapers. We go camping with them. Hubby watches Dinosaur Train with them. We color together. I’m the one they call for when in the middle of the night, or when they’re sick. They came out of L’s and R’s bellies. I am Momma. Hubby is Poppa. There is no confusion.
In regards open adoption being beneficial to birth parents, think how it would feel to put your baby in someone else’s arms, walk away, and never know anything else about him/her. To look at the faces of kids as you walk down the sidewalk, and wonder “is that her?”. To think, “I wonder what they’ve told him about me?”. To want to know what your kid looks like. Some people have said to me that birth parents loose the right to those answers when they “give up their babies”.
That’s an important distinction – birth parents (in the vast majority of cases) don’t “give up their babies”, they make a plan for them. They choose whether they’re ready/in the position to parent their children, or whether it would be in their/the baby’s best interest for someone else to do it. And this is another benefit of an open adoption – the birth family chooses the family who will adopt their child. This is an active choice; it’s not simply giving up. This decision is being a parent, in a different way. It’s a heart-wrenching, difficult decision not made lightly. And, I think, if I can do anything to make it easier for them (like the simple act of visiting every once in awhile, calling, sending pictures, etc…), then I should. Because as a human being, it is my job to do what I can to ease others’ suffering. If I can’t feel some empathy and love towards the people who gave my children life, then I am a poor excuse of a human being. It’s about them knowing that their children are ok, are loved. They have a right to that.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely do NOT believe in open adoption out of some sense of guilt (and nor do I believe it is the only way adoption should be done – as a social worker, I know there are situations where it isn’t the right thing for anyone involved). I don’t feel guilty that I’m raising these amazing children and they aren’t. Both boys’ birth families made an informed decision about what they thought was best. I AM absolutely and completely grateful for them. And I love them for the spectacular gift they’ve given us. I want to help and support them in whatever way I can.
We have different relationships with each of the boys’ birth families. With my older son, we saw his birth family regularly throughout his first 2-3 years, and they then disappeared. I grieve the loss of that relationship though we are hopeful they will resurface in the future. With our youngest son, he is so young, and the relationship is so new, that I have no idea what will become of it. As of right now, we see his birth mother almost weekly. It is by no means easy, watching her grieve the loss of her child. My hope is that by seeing him so surrounded by our love, and by us all navigating a new kind of relationship with her, it will ease her suffering and allow her to be in all of our lives. There is also a feeling whenever she looks at him of someone else claiming my child, which is difficult for me to sit with. I remind myself that he is also her child, and she does have some claim to him. I am still Momma.
Open adoption is a gift. It is a gift to our sons, to know where they came from. It is a gift to the birth families, to know who their sons are becoming. In many ways, the biggest gift is for us, as parents. It is hard some days, but we know, in the long run, it is better for us all.

I loved this article and agree with everything in it (except for the part about her breastfeeding...that's just weird. I have heard about other adoptive parents teach their bodies to do that but I just can NOT see that ever happening here).

Anyway, hope that was informative for you. I'm off to take stock of the nursery and see how many more diapers we are going to have to purchase (is anyone else shocked by how expensive diapers and formula are!?!?!?!).

Please continue to keep us, our birthparents, and baby girl in your prayers.

Oh, and no one has guessed baby girl's name yet. Keep trying! :)

Day 322

2011-02-24T13:02:00.002-05:00

Have I mentioned how blessed Dan and I are?

So many amazing things have happened during the course of this adoption. From having the perfect birthparents find us, to picking out the perfect name for baby girl, to being informed this week that I will be getting a paid maternity leave! I'm not saying that this road has been easy....it hasn't. But in the end we will have a beautiful baby girl who will have more than just one set of people who would lay down their life for her.

Like I said earlier, we did pick the perfect name for baby girl this weekend. I thought it might be difficult to have four people on the same page...but it really wasn't. There was pretty much just one name that stuck out to all four of us. It is perfect and I love the fact that we all worked on it together. Now, I could say what her name will be...but I think I am going to try to wait as long as possible before I announce it. I've made it 4 days so far.

10 points to the person who guesses her name though!

Your clues:
1. It is a unique but not weird name
2. No one I know personally has this name
3. It does not start with a 'P' or a 'K'

Good luck!

Day 313

2011-02-15T19:52:00.003-05:00

Hey Everyone!

The ultrasound was amazing! I forgot Kleenex! What was I thinking? It was amazing to see the baby moving and kicking! Man, that girl can kick! She did not like being poked! :)

And yes, I did just say "she."

Its a girl!!!!

Please go easy on the pink people! :)

Day 308

2011-02-10T17:31:00.004-05:00

This has been a very good week. Yesterday, I got a text from our birth father asking if we would like to go to the ultrasound! YES!!! How awesome is that? I cannot tell you how excited I am that I won't miss this. So, on Tuesday both Dan and myself are going to the ultrasound appointment with our awesome birth parents. We are hoping that baby will be in a position where we can find out what "it" is.

In other news, I have decided that in order to prepare for baby I am going to need do some push-ups or something. I have held two babies today for a total of maybe 30 minutes and my arms are super-sore! How ridiculous is that? Seriously? My arms are sore from holding and 8lb babies?!? Come on!

2011-02-05T09:24:00.003-05:00

Hi, this is guest blogger Dan. I am no good at blogging. I never really know what to talk about and I have a tendency to just ramble. I made brownies yesterday, that really isn't the sort of thing that goes in a blog though. I have mainly been working on the house. During snowmagedon I couldn't get out of our subdivision because the plows never came through. Since I could not make it into work I decided to work on the house. I spent the whole day up in the attic installing baffles in each of the roof rafters to help with air circulation. It was pretty rough. I had to crawl around in insulation for hours and wedge myself into tight spaces with insulation surrounding me. It was a clausterphobics nightmare. I am trying to get all of these little projects out of the way before baby comes. I figure once there is a baby around there will not be as much time to do these sort of things. Here is my list:

Fix the gutters

Put in a new front porch.

Rewire and insulate the basement

Finish the nursery

Obviously the nursery is the most important. I think it is coming along quite nicely at the moment though.

This picture is right after I finished painting the stripe on the wall. The colors in the picture don't look right, but this is the general idea. It looks cuter now though. Trisha moved the crib and put some furniture in there. I think it looks nice. Ooop, Diet Coke break.

Oh, sad times. My Diet Coke is partially frozen. We keep the box of cans in the garage and since it is negative ridiculous degrees out, which I believe equates to about absolute zero, I now have a Diet Coke slushy.

We still have to stencil in the animals on the stripe since we are going for an African safari theme. Then I have to install a closet organizer and put in doors for the closet. I took the old ones out because they were old, ugly and hard to use. Well that is it for today.

Day 302

2011-02-04T08:52:00.005-05:00

It was a short week this week. I was thankful for a day off on Wednesday...although my arm and back muscles were not thankful for the snow (and I didn't even do the majority of the shoveling. Seriously, we NEED to invest in a snow blower!). We had to shovel ourselves out of our driveway yesterday because they had only plowed one side of the street. There is still a 3-foot snow drift that needs to be plowed, so pretty much everyone on our street has not been able to get their mail all week. Boo!!!

Tonight Dan and I are going out to pick up some material for his mom to make curtains for the nursery. I'm pretty sure Dan is very excited about this. What man wouldn't be excited about spending the evening in a fabric store picking out material for window treatments?!

Also, you will be happy to know that tomorrow you will be hearing from a "guest blogger." Yes, Dan will be writing since he 'complained' that I am the only one who writes the blog. This might be the last time he complains about that! Muhahahaha!

Day 300

2011-02-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

So...I figured I would put you out of your misery (Jessica...I'm talking about you!) and tell you about our meeting with our birth parents on Monday night.

We met at Grand Traverse Pie Company and we went in a LOT less nervous than our last meeting....it really helped that there weren't two social workers staring at us. Everyone seemed more comfortable with each other, making it much easier to talk. Plus, we had delicious pie to eat so you can't go wrong there! We also were able to meet our birthmother's mom. She was very nice and asked us if we were getting nervous about having a baby. I haven't even thought about being nervous...I'm way too excited to be nervous right now! Wait until mid-March though....I'll be soliciting the nurses in our family for tons of baby information (prepare yourselves Melissa and Kristen!!!).

I am no longer afraid about open adoption. It really helps that we have the most awesome birthparents ever. They are both smart, cute, and "normal." We don't have to worry about weird situations or legal battles. Dan and I are completely comfortable with them. Looking back, I now know why we were "rejected" 8 times...because God had this couple and this baby waiting for us. Our birthfather actually said to us, "We feel like this baby was meant to be yours." Everything about this situation just feels right and our love and respect for our birthparents just keeps growing.

Our birthmother will be sending us the ultrasound pictures. I am so excited!!! She will also be trying to schedule another ultrasound so that we can all find out if we are having a boy or girl. I am really looking forward to buying the cutest baby clothes. It has been so hard trying to hold myself back (I haven't completely though. I did find the cutest "bring home baby" outfit...but that may change if we can find out what we are having).

I felt like I could have talked to them for so much longer, but we didn't want to keep them out too late. We will be meeting with them again on February 15. I feel so blessed by this couple, so blessed that this baby is going to have SOOOO many people who love him (or her).

Today we are snowed in because of the blizzard (Dan is going to attempt to run....literally...to Ace Hardware to get some stuff to work on the house...because he is crazy). He did try to bribe me with pancakes this morning....which didn't matter, he still is crazy to go out in this.

Please keep praying for our birth parents. They are amazing and are giving us the best gift ever...but that doesn't mean that it will be easy for them.

Day 298

2011-01-31T21:11:00.002-05:00

I LOVE OUR BIRTHPARENTS!!!!

We feel so very, very, very, very blessed. We met with them again tonight (incidentally, it is a lot less awkward when you don't have two social workers staring at you...just sayin') and Dan and I feel so very lucky.

I'll give a more detailed update tomorrow...Right now I am going to attempt to get ready for bed (unfortunately, I drank a big cup of coffee tonight...what was I thinking!?!?!).

Day 294

2011-01-27T22:01:00.003-05:00

I know all of you have been anxious to hear about how the meeting our birthparents went. We've still been trying to process the fact that someone is willing to give us the most wonderful gift that I haven't gotten around to updating the blog. Sorry.

I was ridiculously nervous all day. Around 12:30 I started shaking and had so many butterflies that I couldn't really eat anything. Ugh, it was the worst feeling. I'm pretty sure I have never been that nervous in my entire life. As we were waiting to meet them their case worker popped in and said, "I hope you guys are talkative because these kids are so nervous." I looked at Dan and laughed...It is a good thing Dan wasn't as nervous as I was because he was going to have to be the one to do all the talking.

When we walked in I gave them both a big hug. Oh dear, they looked so young! I wanted to wrap my arms around them and tell them everything would be okay...but, unfortunately, I was so nervous that I wasn't able to say what was on my heart. Plus, it was a little awkward because we had two case workers in there (basically they were just watching us because they try not to interfere.) and since I am initially quiet AND our birthmother is shy, it was just a little hard to get a conversation going.

I really wanted to know why they picked us. Apparently, before they even had a meeting at Bethany, they were looking through family profiles online and saw ours. Something "clicked" and they wanted us. After meeting with their case worker a couple times they found out that we were still available and, before they had even left Bethany, had decided that we were the ones....before Dan and I even knew it!!! They said that we were a lot like them...so I guess that means that they are pretty awesome! ;)

They THINK they are having a boy...we don't know conclusively though. No matter what, we will be happy.

To be honest, right now, our love and respect for them is just growing. I was talking to Dan today and I mentioned that I feel so much love for them and all I want to do is protect them. We exchanged phone numbers and it was all Dan and I could do to not call them and talk to them tonight. We don't want to scare them away with our excitement.

So, all in all, the meeting went really well. We are so happy that we have been chosen by these wonderful people. I can't wait to meet my son or daughter, but I also can't wait to get to know the ones who are giving that gift to us.

I want to thank all of those who spent their day praying for us and for those who tried to calm me down. My poor co-workers, I really wasn't any good to anyone. Good thing they love me!!! :)

Day 292

2011-01-25T17:20:00.003-05:00

30 weeks today!

We meet with the birthparents tomorrow. I am super nervous, anxious, excited, etc. What if they don't like us? What if they want more contact than I'm comfortable with? What if...? What if...? What if....? Ugh, so many questions.

I keep reminding myself that this is the path God has called us to walk and it takes a lot of trust. I'm so thankful for the friends and family that have been by our sides, who have not only helped Dan and I through this time, but have also given me grace in dealing with my scatter-brained-ness and my one-track baby mind.

I know many of you are curious what we ended up picking as the 'traditional' birthparent gift. I did not really know what I would be getting until I found it. I picked out a photo album and in that album I'm going to write something about the relationship they will have with us and the assurance and promise of pictures of their baby (birthparents dictate whether or not they would like pictures sent to them and I have no problem doing that. They are giving us the best gift ever, so sending them pictures is not a problem). Along with that I also got them a gift card to a restaurant for a 'night out.' I figured they could probably use one with all the stress that they are under.

Tonight I need to work on my letter...Tomorrow is the big meeting day. Please, please, please pray for us. Pray that this meeting goes EXCEPTIONALLY well. Pray that I am not so nervous (when I meet new people I tend to clam up and get really shy, sometimes giving off airs of snobbishness...I sooooo don't want them to think that!!). Pray that I may get an ultrasound picture (this seems like a small thing, but...yeah). Pray also that the contact situation that is dictated will be comfortable for everyone involved; Dan and myself, the birthparents, and the birth grandparents.

Thank you all!

Day 286

2011-01-19T18:06:00.002-05:00

I'm 29 weeks pregnant!!! :)

We got a call from our social worker saying that we will be meeting with the birth parents next week Wednesday. We will also be meeting with the birth grandparents following the meeting with the parents. That isn't nerve-racking at all!!!! (YIKES!)

So many thoughts are going through my head, "What if they don't like us?" "What if they change their mind?"

The only thing we can do is pray and put our hope and trust in God...the God who lead us to where we are today.

Please pray for peace for Dan and myself. Pray for the birth parents and grand parents. And please pray that this meeting goes well. We are supposed to bring a gift for the birthparents....and I am going pick that out on Monday. Pray that I pick the right thing!

This is so nerve-racking...
....but I'm 29 weeks!!!

What We Need From You

2011-01-15T19:21:00.005-05:00

I know that adoption is an entirely new situation for most of you and you may be wondering how to respond to the fact that Dan and I have been chosen by birthparents so here are some helpful suggestions that Dan and I thought of:

1. BE EXCITED!!! Both Dan and I are very excited about this news!
2. DO NOT tell us horror stories of birthparents who have changed their mind. Yes, we do know that this is seemingly "risky," but this is the road that God has called us to travel and He will help us through anything that comes our way. I realize that this is an entirely new situation for many of you...but just as no pregnant mother wants to hear stories of giving birth to a 20 lb. baby that could split her in two, we don't want to hear stories of birthparents who changed their mind or attempted to take their child away years later.
3. Treat us as you would any other first-time parent!!!
4. Pray for both Dan and myself as we prepare for our first child, pray for health and safety for our baby, and pray for the birhparents. Our birthparents are very, very young but are making very important "adult" decisions. They are going through lots of counseling at Bethany on what to expect at the hospital but this will still be an emotionally charged situation. Pray that they have peace that Dan and I will love this baby with all of our hearts.
5. Do NOT call us at 11:00pm, 2:00am, 4:00am, to prepare us for feeding time. I know where you live and I will come after you!!! :)
6. Please keep collecting those pop cans!!! We will have $15,000 due to Bethany 6 months after the adoption is final. Having a baby "normally" is expensive...without the cost of adoption added in there! Yikes!!!

Hope this helps and please ask us if you have any questions!!!

Baby Mama Update

2011-01-14T12:35:00.004-05:00

There was a small miscommunication as to when we will be meeting the birth parents:

Next week the birth parents and their families will be meeting at Bethany with the head of the domestic adoption department to sign paperwork, make decisions, and go over information regarding meeting us. The following week is when they will be meeting with us.

I'm a little bummed becuase I wanted to meet the birth parents who are selflessly making the hardest decision ever in giving us their baby. However, I guess until then Dan and I can work on getting that nursery done so that we have something concrete to show them!

Continued prayers that this situation would go smoothly would be much appreciated! Thank you!!!

Here is a pic of the nursery so far. This weekend we (I mean Dan) will be painting the dark brown stripe on the wall and then we will be stenciling in the safari silhouttes!!! Yay!!!

The Call

2011-01-10T21:01:00.004-05:00

I did not expect that January 10, 2011 would be a day that I would remember forever....You never do when amazing things happen. I think that is why things are so amazing, leaving you to thank God for everything He has done in your life!

Around 2:30pm I got a call from Dan saying: "Guess what? WE GOT PICKED!!!"

Unfortunately, I didn't even respond with excitement. I was like, "Oh, okay" (After having 7 birthmothers look at our profile and not getting picked by any of them I had somewhat given up hope). So, when Dan called saying that we had actually gotten picked I didn't really believe him!!! Poor Dan!!! He was holding back tears and I was acting like he was saying he would bring home pizza for dinner!!! :)

Flash forward 10 minutes:
You would have found me crying, shaking and in shock.

I guess it just took a bit for it to sink in.

We had been told that these birthparents would be looking at our profile on January 5...I actually wasn't really paying any attention to the date because that can just make a person crazy. Anyway, the only information that I can really give out right now is that they are a younger couple who just want to make the right decision for their baby. We do not know the sex of the baby...we might find out next week when we meet the birthparents at Bethany. She is due April 11.

We are so excited and tried to call/text/email/facebook everyone!!! Phew!!! After a celebratory dinner and spending some time with Dan it is finally sinking in. We are going to be parents very soon. What an awesome God we have!!!

The happy parent's to be!!!

Day 253

2010-12-16T16:05:00.002-05:00

Adoption.

The road of adoption is hard...but the rewards are even greater.

I was reading one of my adoption blogs and came across this story that I wanted to share:

Jodi and her husband took the stand that if they started talking about baby's adoption from day 1, they would get enough practice in by the time the child was old enough to ask questions (when the story really matters). She said every night she would tell baby, "Mommy and Daddy prayed a long time for you, do you know that? We loved you so much we traveled all the way to Guatemala to get you. Mama Melinda loved you so much, but wasn't able to feed you, so she let us bring you home so you could live a long healthy life." They lived next to an airport and Jodi would point to the sky and say, "Look, baby, Mommy and Daddy took an airplane just like that one to go to Guatemala." She said by the time baby was 1 he would ask "Mama plane" he wanted to hear the plane story every night before he went to bed. Jodi said his adoption story was celebrated; an every-day part of their lives, and baby was fascinated by it. One day they were at the park (baby was 2 1/2) and a nearby mom said, "You must look just like your daddy!" [why do so many people feel the need to ask this question?] Baby looked up at the mom and exclaimed, "I'm a Guatemalan baby!" Baby proceeded to tell his story, "Mama and Daddy loved me so much they went all the way to Guatemala to get me. Even when I was in Mama Melinda's belly they prayed for me..." Jodi said she about fell to the ground. She had never heard him talk about his story and at 2 1/2 didn't realize he understood so much of it. Her heart swelled at her son's secure, confident identity. This same scenario has played out multiple times through his short 5 years.

How heart-warming that story is!!! Although Dan and I will not be traveling to a far away place to get our baby, we will still be celebrating his or her adoption story. We will celebrate and be grateful for the birthparents who loved their child so much that they wanted what was best for it. We can't wait for the day when we can tell our child's adoption story.

Day 252

2010-12-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

We have recieved a note from our social worker who encouraged us to hang in there because there are quite a few birthparents that are in the process of looking into adoption.

Although I would love to give updates on when birthmothers are looking at us to you all....I just don't think that I can do that anymore. At some point Dan and I need to stop and just protect our hearts. I cannot go around telling people to pray about a birthmother who may possibly pick us only to have to turn around and say, "Oh, yeah, nevermind...she picked someone else." It is too hard.

So, while you won't hear updates about prospective children please keep praying because it is pretty hard, especially during the holidays. Thank you!

Day 248

2010-12-11T09:28:00.002-05:00

Thank you all for your prayers for us during these very hard couple of days. Although it has been difficult for Dan and myself, we have felt so encouraged by all the prayers, emails, texts, messages, and expressions of love. Thank you.

I've been trying to think why this hit me so hard when nothing is for sure with adoption and I have come to the following conclusions:
1. God saw my large list and decided to give us more time to finish it. ;)
2. Everyone else got so excited about the possibility that we could have a baby by Christmas and I got caught up in it.
3. Dan was REALLY excited about the possibility (usually he is the calm one who doesn't ever think anything is a for sure until it happens).
4. I thought that we would get picked by at least one of the birthmothers!!! I mean, who wouldn't want to pick us!?!?!

Anyway, I am traveling back up the emotional roller coaster and I'm hoping to close myself off from getting too excited again because those big, emotional downward spirals are not fun for anyone. I found a verse while I was reading my Bible yesterday that just really hit me and I thought I would share it:

"Those that plant with tears will harvest with shouts of joy."
~ Psalm 126.5 ~

I tell you what, when God deems it our time, we will be shouting for joy.

Day 246

2010-12-09T09:12:00.002-05:00

I'm an emotional wreck today.

I thought I could handle going to work and having people ask me questions but I just can't. I know there is another baby out there for us. I know God has a plan. But right now I just hurt. I am so thankful for family and friends who are praying for us right now. That means a lot. But I can't talk about it right now....maybe in a couple days.

Right now, I am going to stay home (I'm thankful for co-workers who understand) and cuddle with my furry baby until the tears stop.

2010-12-08T14:40:00.000-05:00

Both birthmothers selected other families.

Day 245

2010-12-08T13:23:00.002-05:00

No word yet. But I did receive a wonderful prayer from a friend today that really touched me. It is good to know that we have so much love and support from everyone. Thank you.

Dear God,

Be with my friends Trisha and Dan right now. I don't know what is happening or what is going on with the adoptions but Lord, I see them aching to provide for another Human being and to be blessed with a Baby and it hurts to see some friends aching.

Lord, send your spirit on Trisha and Dan and give them peace. Though I have no idea what they are going through, you, Lord, do know what they are going through, and you, Lord, know when and where and how you will provide for them.

I trust in your wonderful wisdom for them. I trust in your awesome power for them. I trust in your perfect love for them.

bless my friends, Lord.

amen

Day 244

2010-12-07T15:58:00.002-05:00

Thank goodness God has given me the ability to compartmentalize! Instead of thinking about that dear sweet baby boy who may or may not be in the hospital and wondering why the birthmother hasn't yet made a decision, I have decided to distract myself by writing lists. I love writing lists. I plan on not being depressed by working on this list until we hear from Bethany:

- Prepare the diaper bag in case we get a last minute call. This includes finding the perfect baby outfit to bring baby Van home in. I'm still looking. I'm leaning toward something with dinosaurs on it. ;)

- Finish the nursery. This one could take awhile to do.
>Dan has the first coat of paint done.
>I am working on a painting of an African sunset for the nursery.
>Dan needs to paint the crib, the bookcase, and we need to get our changing table
>I would love to get our glider and our safari rug before we have baby....those are a "we'll see" right now though....

- Buy and read through "What to Expect the First Years." Why not be prepared before baby comes!?

Day 243

2010-12-06T09:37:00.002-05:00

I'm asking for prayers this morning around 10:30. That is when the birthmother who already had the baby boy will be looking at our profile. As much as I want this baby, I also want the baby God wants us to have. So pray specifically for God's will in this...and if you could send up a prayer for God to protect our hearts. For some reason my heart just aches to hold this little boy....
Thank you all.

Day 242

2010-12-05T08:09:00.003-05:00

I'm so glad that I have my sweet nieces around to keep a smile on my face these days. On Thursday, when I found out about the birthmother who had the baby already, I got a text in the evening from my niece, Megan (using her mom's cell phone):

"This is Megan. I hope you get a baby. Bye Aunt Trisha, bye Uncle Unicorn (Dan's name, its a long story). Mmmmmwwwwwwwhahahaha."

I heard later from Kristen (Megan's mom) that after devotions every night, when asked what she wants to pray for, she says, "That Aunt Trisha and Uncle Unicorn get a baby."

So sweet.

Yesterday we had our family Christmas and Elise (Megan's younger sister) sat me down and talked to me about the merits of having a boy baby and a girl baby:

"If you have a boy you are going to have to deal with a lot of Star Wars. You just will. If you have a girl you will have to deal with Barbie."

I told her that I'm not a fan of playing Barbie....plus, Barbie wears WAY too much pink for my liking.

Elise replied, "Then you will have to have two girls so that they can play Barbie with each other and you won't have to play!"

I love it! These girls just crack me up. Ya gotta love them.

Dan, Megan, and Elise. As you can tell by the picture, Dan is 9, Megan is 7, and Elise is 28. :)

Day 239

2010-12-02T09:12:00.003-05:00

No word from Bethany yet about the birthmother who looked at our profile on Monday. It can be anywhere from 2-3 days to 2-3 weeks. I will keep ya'll posted though. '

However, I did receive notice that there is ANOTHER birthmother who will be looking at our profile on Monday. This baby is a boy who was actually born November 29!!!

I know that God has the perfect baby for us...please pray for all of the above situations because only God know which one is right!!! Thank you!

Day 236

2010-11-29T11:45:00.002-05:00

Well, another update!
We just got word that there is another birthmother who will be looking at our profile Dec. 1. She is due in February with a baby girl. Please pray both for the birthmother and for us. You can also add to your prayer request that there will not be any extra fees (legal) on top of this adoption should she pick us.
Thanks for your prayers! We'll keep you updated.

Day 236

2010-11-29T10:39:00.007-05:00

I am so thankful for all the family and friends who showed their support to me this past weekend at my shower. You all will never know how much your support meant to me. It is so hard to feel like an expectant mom when there are no physical signs. But being showered with love and gifts for Baby Van brought me that much closer to the feeling. Nothing about this process is easy but to have people lavish Dan and I with love for the baby to come overwhelmed my heart. Surprisingly, (and thankfully) I didn't cry too much.

Below are some pictures from the shower. Enjoy!

My super-cute safari themed diaper cake made by Momo! How adorable is that!

So I could NOT think of the name of something and sounded completely mommy-dumb. Oh well, I'll learn!

My nieces were being very helpful.

The safari lampshade for my nursery!

Okay, did you know they had specific cleaners for nipples (for bottles)? I totally did not know that...but had a lot fun shouting "NIPPLE!!!" ;)

All sorts of stuff to keep Baby Van clean and healthy. If he is anything like all the other Van babies this stuff will come in very handy!!

Finally, we have my awesome diaper bag from Aaron and Sara. I can't wait to pack it up with stuff I will need for when we bring Baby Van home from the hospital!

Thank you again to everyone! We feel so loved! Someone asked me the other day when they heard I was having a shower if I was "expecting." Yes, I am expecting. I just don't know when my baby is coming. It could be within the hour, within the month or within 6 months. But now we are a little more prepared for Baby Van's arrival thanks to everyone who came to this shower. Thank you!

Day 217

2010-11-10T16:38:00.002-05:00

Waiting sucks....
...sorry Aunt Deb....

No other "enlightened" thing to say....check back later for a more positive post....

Day 201

2010-10-25T14:43:00.002-04:00

We were not chosen by this particular birthmother. I know it was kind of unlikely to get picked right away but we both kind of let ourselves get our hopes up. We are okay...we know that this was not our child...it is still hard.

Day 201

2010-10-25T10:29:00.002-04:00

So, I received an email from our caseworker that somewhat answers the "how long do we wait before we hear something about this birthmom" question:

"It is different for each birthmother, how long they take to decide. It can range from 2-3 days to 2-3 weeks. If you don't hear from me it usually means I don't know anything. I will ALWAYS let you know the outcome of the decision of the birthmother."

So, that at least gives us some idea of how long we have to wait for the decision...I imagine that since the birthmother is due November 5, she will make her decision sooner rather than later though. :)

Thank you all for your prayers!

Day 199

2010-10-23T15:35:00.001-04:00

Haven't heard anything and I don't know when or if we will. Please keep us in your prayers. I think I would prefer morning sickness to this time of waiting...

Day 195

2010-10-19T11:48:00.003-04:00

Well, I have been going over how much I want to tell people when Dan and I receive news from Bethany. I truly feel like we really need your prayers right now though...so:

I received word from Bethany this morning that they have an adoptive mother who would like to go through our profile on Friday morning. Now, this just means that we are going to be looked at...it doesn't mean that she has chosen us. However, she does need to make her decision quickly as she is due November 5!

I am asking that you pray that God's will be done. You all know how much I have been longing for a baby. But we know this is in God's hands as he has the baby picked out for us. If this is our baby I ask that you pray for the birthmother as this is going to be the most difficult decision she will ever have to make. If this isn't our birthmother I ask that you pray for peace and understand for Dan and I. This is just the emotional roller coaster that adoption puts you through...

Thank you all for your prayers...we really feel them!

Day 187

2010-10-11T05:50:00.002-04:00

First of all, thank you all for your support, your comments, your prayers...All of this has helped me stay positive during what could have been a very trying time. Thank you.

Dan and I registered at Babies R' Us this past weekend. It was fun but a bit overwhelming. We were there for a couple of hours deciding between what was just "stuff" and what we actually needed (did you know there is actually a bottle that will "bring your child closer to nature" by mimicking the feel of an actual breast? Weird!!!). It was fun though. Today I will be going out with my sister-in-law to register at Target where I am hoping to find some non-frilly baby gear...

Well, that is all the updates that I have....I'm going to try to catch a bit more sleep before the day begins. I don't know if Sam is trying to prepare me for motherhood or not but he woke me up at 4am and I haven't been able to fall back asleep since!

Day 183

2010-10-06T20:43:00.003-04:00

Oh boy...so, I realized this week that I need to consider myself 8 months pregnant. You couldn't tell from looking at me, but in every other way I am an expectant mother. The hard part about not carrying your child yourself is that not everyone sees you this way...I don't get to make my husband run out in the middle of the night because I am craving ice cream (I am sure he is grateful for that), I don't get to show people pictures of my baby's ultrasound...but I get a whole different kind of 'firsts.' These 'firsts' are not necessarily understood by all of our family or friends. Like today, our profile books came in the mail AND we mailed our check to Bethany to pay for our homestudy/pre-placement services. That is HUGE. Next week we could have birthmothers looking at our profile, next week we could get a call, next week we could be parents (this is unlikely...but it could happen!).

The hard thing about adoption is that I don't know exactly when all this will happen...I don't know when we will get the call. This is what most adoptive parents call "the waiting period.' It could be a short wait or it could be long. I don't know. Dan and I are going to be registering this Friday because if we get a call quickly we won't have time to worry about doing that. I'm a little nervous about how the sales people will respond when they see me, a person obviously not preggo, wanting to register. Such a silly thing, I know. :)

Please know that Dan and I covet and need your prayers. Please pray for our baby and for the choices our birthmother may be struggling to make and please pray for Dan and I as we are less than a week away from being available to be chosen!!!
Thank you all.

Day 174

2010-09-27T12:31:00.001-04:00

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years...
Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

~ Author Unknown ~

Day 171

2010-09-24T16:27:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness...we were sent our homestudy today. That happened sooner than I thought. I was thinking we wouldn't get that until next week...but we received it today!

What does that mean?

Well, it means Dan and I have the weekend to look through it, correct any errors we find, and then we can send it back. After that we send a big check to Bethany and BAM! We are eligible adoptive parents!

Phew, we have a lot to do before we get picked...

...I think I am going to sleep now while I still can!!! :)

Day 167

2010-09-20T20:54:00.002-04:00

HUGE progress made tonight...

WE FINISHED OUR PROFILE BOOK!!!!

For those of you who don't know, a profile book is basically a snapshot of your life. You put togehter and order a book through Snapfish or Shutterfly and tell your life story, write a letter to the birthmother, write about your personalities, interests, family, childcare plans....pretty much everything. I'm emailing it to a couple people and our social worker so they can look it over or recommend changes. After that, the last step is to read through and proof the homestudy (Kim, our social worker, will be sending that to us when she is done).

So - we have about one to two weeks where we will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we will not be parents. After that, who knows (except God, of course)!?!?!

Day 136

2010-08-20T13:47:00.004-04:00

It has taken me awhile to process how our last meeting at Bethany went. For us, it went very well...but as we talked about the birthmother's possible situations it made me really, really sad. It is very hard for me to be so happy about getting a child when the whole situation is filled with sadness and grief for the birthmother. Just because she cannot take care of the child does not mean she doesn't love it...I think she loves it more because she is choosing a life for her baby that she cannot give herself. I am excited to be a mom, but my heart is also breaking for our future birthmother. I have just really been burdened to pray for her, for her situation, that she makes good choices and stays strong. I do not know what the future holds for us...but I don't have to worry because God holds our future and our baby's future, in His hands. How can I not trust Him when it is His plan?

I am asking all of you who are still reading our blog to pray. Pray for our birthmother, our baby, everything about this adoption. And tell others to pray because God works through prayer! Thank you!

Our caseworker is on vacation this week. Next week she will be writing our homestudy and will send it to us to approve. Dan and I are finishing up our profile book and will be sending a draft to her next week to look at. We will hopefully be all set to go in about 2-3 weeks! Yay!

Day 128

2010-08-17T11:01:00.006-04:00

Fundraiser #2

So, we are getting closer to baby, which means closer to when the majority of the money will be due. We made about $2,000 with the garage sale fundraiser, which is awesome! I feel so blessed by the amount of donations that people gave, by the number of people who showed up to help...and buy!

My sister-in-law thought up the idea for our next fundraiser. To be honest, I feel like I don't want to push it as hard because I don't want people to get annoyed that we keep asking for stuff. But, as she said, this one is really easy and people want to help. So, here we go... "Cans for Baby Van" kicks off today!

All you need to do is:
1. Drink your pop
2. Save your cans
3. Give the empty cans to Dan and Trisha

See! Easy!

I have attached a flyer if you want to get your family/friends/work place involved! Thanks for all your help!

Day 123

2010-08-12T13:25:00.004-04:00

Just to give my prayer warriors an update; Our meeting at Bethany has been changed to next WEDNESDAY at 3:00 instead of next Thursday. So say a prayer a day sooner!

It has been a crazy week. I volunteered to take pictures for our VBS program. Watching those kids have fun makes my heart ache. One of my favorite scenes from this week was watching my dad give piggy-back rides to the pre-schoolers. It just reminded me of my childhood. God has richly blessed me with a great family and great memories. I remember Friday night was family night and we would spread a big blanket on the floor in the living room, eat popcorn, and watch TGIF. Lindsey and I would always try to win at "rough-house" with my dad (sometimes we would 'win') and Mom was always telling us stories with different voices. Good times. I can't wait to have a family, to share the love that I feel is overflowing with our future child.

Meanwhile, I am enjoying what life has to offer...including glimpses of how great my child's future grandparents will be! :)

Day 121

2010-08-10T11:16:00.005-04:00

Well, we are getting to the end of the paperwork (YAY!). I still can’t believe how smoothly this has gone. I’m glad for that…and praying that it continues to go smoothly (and quickly). :)

We have our last meeting at Bethany next Thursday. We are going to be bringing with us the draft of our profile book along with a list of our 'preferences.' This includes several personal questions that most parents never have to think about like:

Are you okay with:
-a surgically correctable condition (hernia, heart defects, etc.)
-a Medical Condition (Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Cystic Fibrosis, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Autism, Seizure Disorder, etc.)
-Vision and or hearing impairments
-Transracial placement

And then there are questions that you need to answer about your potential birthmother:

Are you okay with:
-Limited or no info. about the birthfather
-Victim of rape
-Victim of incest
-Bipolar disorder
-Reported drug/alcohol abuse (not during pregnancy)
-Criminal history

There are a ton of questions like these…some easier to answer than others. In the end though we know that there is a child out there for us, a child that God has hand-picked to be part of our family. We could get wrapped up in the details of what could or could not happen…but we are just going to trust, and pray.

Day 116

2010-08-05T18:48:00.002-04:00

2nd homestudy done! It wasn't bad at all and I feel like it went really well. We answered questions like: "What are the qualities that you most admire about your spouse?" and "How do you divide the roles in your house (ie. bills, cleaning, cooking)." Nothing too difficult and it was a lot shorter than our other homestudy!!!

We have one more on the 19th to talk about our service/hospital plan. Meanwhile we need to finish up our profile book, Birthmother letter and read a couple books. Haha...I'm required to get more books!!! ;)

Thank you all for your prayers, we could definitely feel them!

Day 114

2010-08-03T13:39:00.003-04:00

I meant to update sooner but the news of another tragedy in our youth group made me put this off. So, before I start talking about the sale, please add to your prayer list Chase Villerius. He was in a car accident up north and his girlfriend, who was also in the car, was killed. He is in serious condition in the hospital but I have just heard that he knows his name and he told his mom that he loves her!!! Praise God and keep praying!!!

- - - -

Saturday - Garage Sale Day:

My day started at 4am. Not because I needed to be up that early, but because my mind would not stop thinking about all that needed to be done before the sale. Turns out I was busy up until 9:00 doing all sorts of little things. The sale started at 9am and there were people lined up outside!!! Remember when I was all worried that we wouldn't have enough people to come and buy all the stuff? Yeah, I didn't need to worry. God provides!!! :)

We were busy from 9am-1:30pm with people...I wish I would have remembered to take pictures. We sold most of the large items (which we were thankful for because then we didn't have to worry about moving them!).

I was thankful that Gwen told me to make sure we had a big clean-up crew because without the help of strong, non-exhausted people, we would have been cleaning up for 4 hours. As it was, clean-up only lasted and hour and a half!!! Dan and I were home by 3:40! Amazing! I didn't move from the couch the entire night...Garage sales are exhausting!

So, I know this is what you were all waiting for....the total is nearly $2,000!!!! I am shocked and in awe and so very, very grateful! I don't know the "official" total yet because there are some items that we need to sell on Craigslist and there are a couple people we need to collect money from. I am so amazed! So, I wanted to thank all the people who donated...we could not have done this without you. Thank you!

A special thank you to all who took time out of their day to help us. This sale would not have gone so smoothly without all of you. I really feel the love of our family, friends, and church during this time. It is comforting to know we are loved!

Our helpers:
Bonnie Anderson
Diane Brownell
Deb Coon
Lindsey DeYoung
Kathryn Dykhuis
Amanda Gilbert
Beth Gilbert
Catherine Herron
Collette Hoogewind
Roger Hoogewind
Beth Jennings
Sabrina Katsma
Terri Katsma
Travis Katsma
Zach Katsma
Julie Kruizenga
Kevin Kruizenga
Nicole Kruizenga
Jan Loux
Jon Loux
Kara Loux
Kourtney Loux
Jamie McCormick
Wilma Nelson
Gwen Van Manen
Dad Van Stensel
Jon Van Stensel
Melissa Van Stensel
Bonnie Yamamoto

So, thanks again! We have a meeting at Bethany this Thursday so we'll let you know how that goes. It is at 3:00pm so say a prayer!

Pre-Garage Sale Fun

2010-07-30T21:40:00.005-04:00

What a LONG day! Thank you to everyone who helped set up for the garage sale! I so appreciate the help!! Believe me, after seeing all the stuff everyone generously donated I was worried we weren't going to be able to get everything put out and priced in one day! But we did it!

The Garage Sale is tomorrow at Rockford Reformed Church (4890 - 11 Mile Rd., Rockford, MI, 49341) from 9am-1pm. Come and see what we have!

Come check it out! All proceeds go towards our adoption! Thanks!

Day 107

2010-07-28T09:25:00.003-04:00

Is it sad that I am more stressed about this upcoming garage sale than I was about the homestudy? Initially I was worried that we were not going to get enough donations. Yeah, not so worried about that anymore. We are over flowing with donations!!! Awesome!

Now, I'm just worried that there won't be people to buy all that has been donated. Apparently I didn't submit it to the Advance in the right format so I missed that deadline. It is too late to put it in the GR Press...so I freaked out a little bit yesterday. Dan could not understand why I was so frustrated. "This whole process has gone so smoothly! When has God not taken care of things?" He's right. I shouldn't worry about it. So, I'm going to TRY not to worry. :)

However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to attempt to get the word out there about this garage sale. So, tell your friends and neighbors. There really is a LOT of stuff and everyone will be able to find something. I have attached a flyer for ya'll to print out if you so desire...but word of mouth is the best way.
Thank you to all who have donated...We really appreciate it!

Day 102

2010-07-23T13:47:00.004-04:00

I love hearing that people are excited about our adoption. It makes it more real for me. I don't get to talk about maternity clothes or pregnancy woes (I'm okay with that, really). Adoption is what I talk about...a lot. I figure ya'll will forgive me. :)

Now that we are getting closer to "being on the market" (I say that with a smile because sometimes that is what it feels like) I want to recommend a couple things for family members...and those who are curious.

Grab a book:

This book called "Adoption is a Family Affair" by Patricia Johnston. This is not a book for prospective adoptive parents (Dan and I), but instead written for their loved ones. "It plainly explains the adoption process, proper adoption language, questions never to ask, tips on how to support the prospective adoptive parents and other helpful advice." If you are interested, please pick this book up. Dan and I were going to buy these books for our family members...but we're kind of on a budget right now. ;)

Do some research:
Dan and I did a TON of research before we decided on adoption. Here are a couple sites we visited along with a couple of very good blogs on open adoption. I tell you what, open adoption is a lot less scary when you educate yourself more!

>We are working through Bethany Christian Services. We have been very impressed with them so far and our social worker is so knowledgable.
www.bethany.org
>I check this blog often. Her story, if you read from the beginning, will touch your heart.
http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com
>Adoptive Families is a great site for support, articles, etc.
www.adoptivefamilies.com
>Adoptive Families Support Group offers an entire page dedicated to links on adoption, adoption agencies, adoption support, books, online resources, etc.
http://afsn.org/

Thank you all for your support, prayers and love. Our garage sale is next Saturday so be sure you bring your stuff to church next week. Also, I need helpers for Saturday so if you are willing, please help! Thank you!

Day 101

2010-07-22T08:28:00.002-04:00

Phew!

I am glad that is done.

The homestudy wasn't that bad...it was just long. Kim arrived at 2:00 and left at 4:45. That is a lot of talking for someone who isn't a big talker. :)

Basically we took care of a couple forms Dan forgot to sign and then she needed to interview Dan. I went into another room so they could talk. Dan's interview was about a half an hour longer than mine. Partly because he had a more complicated childhood and partly because he is a big talker. She basically asked us about our childhoods, what it was like growing up, our siblings, our relationships with our siblings, what jobs everyone does, our current relationships with family...just a LOT of questions.

Then she met with me for about 45 minutes, asking me the same types of questions. When she was done with me Dan came back into the room and we talked about our neighborhood, where the local schools are, our future job plans...

We then took a walk through our house and she "recommended" we get a couple things (another fire detector and a fire extinguisher). We have our next interview scheduled for August 5. She said this one will not take nearly as long...she is just going to be talking about our relationship and how we met etc. There is only one more after that where we will talk about our preferences, birth plans, etc.

So, all in all it wasn't too bad. It did wear me out though. I wasn't good company the rest of the night (sorry Mom and Dad).

While we wait we need to get to work on our profile book. I have a lot of our pictures set aside for that but we need to actually write it and then order it. So, there is still a bit of work to do but it is going pretty smoothly so far!

Thank you all who covered us with prayer...I wasn't nervous at all while I was talking which is a real testament to the power of prayer! ;)

Day 99

2010-07-20T15:40:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is our homestudy.

Am I nervous?

No, not really.

Do I want things to be perfect?

Yes.

Do I realize that having the house spotless, flowers on the table, coffee made and zucchini bread in the oven is totally transparent?

Yup. [smile]

Dan thinks I am too worried about the house looking nice. I’m not worried…but when someone is coming to your house for the exact purpose of judging you, then yes, I want things to look really nice. Plus, I'm trying to compensate for the fact that the house is not completely done...

We spent a lot of the weekend working on the front flowerbeds. They look really nice now. I’ll have to put a picture up later.

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning out the extra bedroom. It had become a catch-all for everything while we were under construction. Tonight I am begrudgingly for-going Bible study to clean the bathrooms, dust all the drywall dust away (hopefully), vacuum, make zucchini bread, wash floors, basically just cleaning everything.

So, tomorrow is the day…everyone say a prayer around 2:00pm!!!

Day 93 - Work & Play

2010-07-14T20:55:00.005-04:00

It has been an amazing couple of weeks filled with work, play and everything in between. We heard from Kim last Tuesday that our homestudy will be Wednesday, July 21. She says that this will last for three hours as she will be interviewing Dan, myself and then both of us together as well as looking at our home. Why this will take three hours I don't know...but she will be meeting with us three more times after that, will write up our homestudy, we will review it, and hopefully get that and our profile out there by September! Crazy!

We haven't really had time to do much around the house the last couple weeks because it has been busy with the holiday weekend and a much needed vacation.

Melissa & I lounging in Bostwick lake on the Fourth of July:

Jim, Dan, me, Melissa, Daniel, and Mike enjoying Mackinac Island:

Me and my cutie!!!

On another note, our adoption fundraising garage sale is fast approaching! Only a couple more weeks! Please be sure to set your stuff aside. You will be able to drop items off at Rockford Reformed Church July 26-29th from 8:00am-4:00pm. If you need to make special arrangements please call Dan (485.9077) or myself (485.4520).

For those who wanted to help with set up:
We will be setting up at church on Friday, July 30 from 9:00am-4:00pm. Feel free to come anytime to help with set up and pricing.

The actual Garage Sale Day is Saturday, July 31 from 9:00am-1:00pm in the Rockford Reformed Church Family Life Center. If you would like to help with that please let me know.

To all who are donating their time or their items: We thank you!!!

Day 79

2010-06-30T10:47:00.005-04:00

I can't believe July is tomorrow! Man, this summer is just flying by! It won't be too long until our garage sale! Keep saving your stuff! If you really need to get it out of your house before the week of the sale please let me know.

In other news, Dan and I have passed our drug screen (shocking, I know), our HIV tests, had our physicals, TB tests and TDAP shots. I am planning on sending all that paperwork in tomorrow. Once that is all in we will be set to schedule our first homestudy. During this homestudy Kim will be coming to our house and doing an "in-depth" interview with both Dan and I. Pray for discernment because though I know almost no one fails a homestudy it is still nerve-racking being asked a myriad of questions about your relationships, family, sex life etc. Although I do understand that they do this to protect the kids it is somewhat frustrating to me that people accidentally get pregnant everyday while Dan and I, who are more than ready, have to jump through hoops. All right, enough venting...

My cousin, Lindsay said to me the other day, "Isn't it crazy to think that right now someone is pregnant with your child?" You know what? That is crazy to me....I really can't fathom it. I have wanted a child for so long and now that I am close I can't really imagine it. To be honest, it scares me. I'm going to be a Mom, Dan is going to be a Dad...We'll be parents!

Weird.

Scary.

Crazy.

Awesome.

Day 71

2010-06-22T10:37:00.009-04:00

Well, this has been a rough weekend. Let me give you a bit of the back story:

Last week Sunday our high school youth group left for Colorado on a backpacking trip. This was Aaron's, our youth pastor's, last trip before he leaves to start the orphanage in Guatemala. We wanted this trip to really draw our youth closer to God and closer to each other.

Thursday evening I received a call that Audra Brownell, one of our beautiful youth, was struck on the head by a falling rock and killed. Being the super-sensitive person that I am, I have had the hardest time sleeping for the last few nights (I was sleeping great last night until the stupid tornado warning...). Thankfully, we were able to get the entire youth group home by Saturday night. This has been such a rough experience for them and my heart just breaks for what they are going through. My sister, who was on the trip, related to me that breaking the news to those kids and hearing them cry was the worse noise she has ever heard.

Please, please pray for our youth group. Three of our kids witnessed this tragedy and the rest are also deeply affected. Pray for the Brownell family as the visitation and funeral is this week. Pray for Aaron, he seems to be doing all right, but I know this is hard on both him and his wife Gwen (Audra was in her small group).

Audra was a beautiful girl with a love for Christ and a smile that could light up the room. Although those of us left behind are in pain, we have the hope and knowledge that she is with her Lord and Savior.

WE'LL MISS YOU AUDRA!

Day 66

2010-06-17T11:30:00.007-04:00

Many of you have been curious as to how we are planning on decorating the baby's room. My tastes have changed quite a bit these last couple years. When I was in high school I was sure I was going to be doing a Beatrix Potter baby's room. Now, the thought of super-cutesy drives me crazy. I want to do a room that will be able to grow with him or her...using colors that would work well for a boy or girl. So, after doing a ton of looking, I have found a color combo that I LOVE! And, depending on the gender it could have very different accents to make it more "manly" or "girly." You ready for it?

This a great pic of the color combination:

And this is a pic of what kind of design we will be doing:

In this picture the color in the stripe is a lime green, since my house has too much green in it we will be doing that pretty yellow color in the first pic. I have a ton of wooden African accents that will look so cool and "rustic." Our crib is maple so that will help tie it in with the rest of the room. If it is a girl we will do something like that white flower that is on the wall...if it is a boy we will just leave the stripes plain. I am really excited and can't wait to paint!

Day 65

2010-06-16T21:04:00.006-04:00

Well, we meet with Kim today. We received more paperwork to fill out...but none of it was really too bad. The only thing that will take a bit to do is to get drug/HIV tested and both of us also need physicals. As soon as that paperwork is in we will call Kim and schedule our "in-depth" homestudy. She said it will last about three hours. Yikes! The one thing that was somewhat disconcerting was learning that making an extra $140 put us in a different tax bracket which requires us to pay $5,000 MORE than we were expecting. Dan was NOT happy....nothing bugs a Spreadsheet Man more than having an unexpected $5,000 thrown at you. Good thing we are having a Garage Sale!!!!

Being the task-oriented person that I am, as soon as I got back from our meeting I scheduled my doctor's appointment and when I got home I finished all the paperwork that needs to be done. It feels so good knowing that all I need to do is bug Dan about scheduling his own appointment. :)

Also, because Kim will be visiting our home in the next couple weeks we are trying to make sure we get as much done as possible. Monday I put all our food back in the kitchen (YAY for new cupboards!), moved Sam out of his bedroom (don't worry, I made him a cave in the other bedroom...which he loves), and cleaned up the crib (it concerns me that the screws are missing though).

Tonight Dan and I worked on the garden. The baby bunnies had finally moved on and we spent a lot of time turning the compost into the soil. Hopefully I will be able to plant some delicious veggies soon!!!

Here some pics from tonight:

I conquer garden!

I was jealous...What took me a half an hour only took Dan about 10 minutes.

Fun times...I'm gonna feel it tomorrow though...

Day 60

2010-06-11T13:22:00.005-04:00

Let's face it, thunderstorms are awesome. When I was younger I would always be the one staring out the window at the storm while my sister would be hiding under the covers. Of course, she could also have been hiding because I told her I saw a tornado coming...older sisters can be mean sometimes. Sorry Linds!!! :)

I was hoping to work in the yard this weekend but the stormy weather has forced me indoors. While I won't be hiding from tornadoes, I will be in my basement. I've decided to work one room at a time, cleaning and organizing from the bottom up. Tonight I tackle the dreaded laundry room...duh, duh, duh... Since our homestudy starts next Wednesday (the first part consists of them basically interviewing us at Bethany) we can expect our social worker to pay us a home visit by the 23rd. Yikes! So much to do. I figured that I would save myself a mental breakdown if I tackled each project room by room. I'll let you know how that goes. Dan's project is to clean the construction debris out of the garage. That means multiple trips to the dump. I know, you all wish you could live glamorous lives like Dan and I, right?

Also, I have been told by our knowledgeable "Garage Sale Guru" that we need to make sure that we receive a LOT of donations for the garage sale on July 31st because there is a lot of competition with summer garage sales. So, what I need from you is your donations. Go through your clothes, books, garages and set your stuff aside!

We will be setting up and pricing everything for the garage sale on Friday, July 30 and the actual garage sale will be on July 31st. I have fliers made if any of you would like to hand them out. I want to thank everyone who has offered to help.

Oh, and as far as donations go: Normally I would say, "Sure, bring the stuff over to my house." However, since we are going to be having our homestudy I really can't have my house overrun with garage sale items. So, you will be able to drop items off at my church (Rockford Reformed Church, 4890 - 11 Mile Rd.) July 26-30from 8:00am-4:00pm. I figured ya'll would understand.

Day 58

2010-06-09T10:38:00.001-04:00

Everything is moving so fast and I am so excited!! Dan got a call from our social worker today and the first part of our homestudy begins next Wednesday. NEXT WEDNESDAY BABY!!!

The first part takes place at the Bethany offices…it is basically more of an interview. I’m a little worried about what they will ask because I’m not good under pressure. No worries though, Dan will be there!

Oh, and I have some more fun news; I set a date for our Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale. It will be July 30-31st at Rockford Reformed Church. So, if you have any items that you would like to donate to the garage sale, set them aside. All proceeds will go towards raising money for our adoption. And, if any of you are garage sale people and would like to help out please let me know. I am not really a garage sale person…the last time I had a garage sale I ended up practically giving things to people. It was pretty sad.

So, that is all my exciting news! Yay!!!!

Day 57

2010-06-08T13:42:00.001-04:00

Well, things seem to be moving really fast with this adoption process. Yesterday we were told that we had been assigned our social worker and that she will be calling us this week to make an appointment for our homestudy!!! How exciting is that?!?!
Also, how scary is that?!?! I feel like there is so much that needs to be done. Mondays are my day off and I use them to clean the house, do laundry, get groceries etc… As I was doing the cleaning and seeing all that needs to be done I was suddenly very overwhelmed. I know that the homestudy is more like a home inspection, basically something to see if our house is safe to live in. After this weekend it should be. Dan is going to try to get the rest of the drywall up and the electrical plates in place. I realize that the social worker is not coming to the house to see how clean and organized I am…I get that. However, I just got overwhelmed by everything that I want done with organizing, painting, decorating. I know those things, in the long run, don’t really matter…but they matter to me. Plus, if I don’t get to these things now, how am I going to get to it when I have a kid?
Once our homestudy and everything is completed and our profile is out there (which should be all set by September) we could get chosen any time. So we could be parents anywhere from September on!!! I want everything ready and set before then because once a baby arrives I certainly am not going to have time to organize closets.
Being the list-maker that I am (seriously, sometimes I even write things on my list just so I can cross them off…Dan thinks I’m a little OCD) I am going to make a list of everything that I want done. I started making a list for the bedroom yesterday; here’s what we have to do:

Bedroom:
-Get blinds
-Make and/or find some curtains
-Add artwork to the walls
-finish the drywall
-Organize and re-do the closets

That doesn’t seem too bad and if I take it a week at a time I should be fine.

So, any of you organizers out there that want to donate your time…let me know and I will put you to work!!!

Day 52

2010-06-03T11:08:00.004-04:00

I am heading to Bethany this afternoon to give them our full application, statement of faith, fingerprints, questionnaires, and our initial application fee. I am so excited. It is happening!!

Dan and I have talked a lot about our budget trying to think different ways that we can save and sacrifice. Dan is canceling his gym membership today (which is fine because we have a treadmill now and he doesn’t really use it in the summer anyway). We are also going to cancel our cable [*sniff]. We have done it before and have survived (albeit we drove family nuts with our constant Friends references because I had that playing in the background all the time). Prepare yourselves!!!

Although domestic adoption is much cheaper than international it is still very expensive and we are going to do all we can to raise the money through fundraising and grants (we can’t apply for grants until after our homestudy). I have an idea for a garage sale this summer so if you have stuff that you would like to donate, set it aside….I’ll give more information on that later, I need to clear a date on the church calendar first.

We aren’t too worried about the money though…people have been so generous.

Our adventure is just beginning!

Day 50

2010-06-01T16:11:00.000-04:00

This past week was exciting for Dan and I as we spent a lot of time filling out our formal application for domestic infant adoption. Filling it out makes it seem 'real' to me. I am praying and hoping that the wait won't be too long. I sent the formal application in today and I am trying to get the other information, along with our first payment, into Bethany later this week.

Here is what the time-frame looks like for Dan and I:
-Once we get our paperwork and first payment into Bethany it will take about three months to process and get our home-study done.
-We will be assigned a social worker who will interview us and our references and then we need to start working on our profile. Our profile is what the birthmother uses to pick the parents of her child.
-Do our homestudy, (the social worker comes to our home to make sure it is 'baby-safe' i.e. no random holes in the wall or electrical wiring in random places. We would sooo fail a home study right now).
-After the homestudy is approved our profile is sent to Bethany where it will be published on their website and made available to prospective birthmothers. We are hoping that the wait will not be long but it is all dependent on a birthmother picking us. It could be right away, or it could be a year or more.

Not knowing when Dan and I will be parents could drive me crazy...but I have decided to use this time to get everything ready for Baby Van. There is so much that needs to be done. So, being the obsessive list maker that I am I have started a list of all the things that need to be done before Baby Van arrives....:

-Clean out and prepare Baby Van's bedroom. Right now it is Sam's room/catch-all for random items. It needs to be super cleaned and decorated. I am excited to start decorating.

-Obsessively read everything I can about parenting, babies, adoption, etc.

-Attempt to remove all evidence of drywall dust from my home. Mike and Dan laughed at me this weekend as I cleaned the keyboard with a Q-tip, but I know they appreciate a clean keyboard so keep laughing boys!!!

-Organize, organize, organize! I haven't really organized things since Dan and I moved in. Things are kind of just strewn about in different closets. Now that we are nearing the end of construction I no longer have an excuse.

So, that is the beginning of my list and the basic outline of what we know so far with the adoption process. I was again humbled this past week by receiving a check in the mail from one of my friends. We now have about half the initial application fee taken care of, which really, really helps. Dan and I are so very appreciative by the support of so many people and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!

I figured I would post a picture of how our kitchen is looking right now. Dan has done such a good job. We still need to get a sink, countertop, and tile the backsplash but I think it is lookin' good! I'm so thankful for a handy husband. Oh, AND he hooked up the dishwasher without us having a sink. How cool is that!?!? No more doing dishes in the bathroom sink! WAHOO!!!

Day 44 - More Blessings

2010-05-26T09:05:00.003-04:00

I got back to church today and received an anonymous donation for our adoption fund. Poor Jan had to deal with my tears..

So, whomever it is who dropped that donation off, THANK YOU!!!! Thank you for being part of another adoption, for helping to bring my child home. The fact that you thought of Dan and I has touched our hearts more than anything.

THANK YOU!

...time to go find more Kleenex!

Domestic Adoption

2010-05-25T09:58:00.002-04:00

This post is for those of you who are curious what 'domestic adoption' will mean for Dan and I.

What is domestic infant adoption?
Infant adoption is the adoption of a newborn or very young child (Dan and I will be adopting a newborn) whose birthparent has made the difficult decision that she is unable to parent at that point. These parents love and wish that they could parent their children but feel that adoptive placement is the best decision for their children. The parents relinquish their rights voluntarily. The majority of birthparents select and meet the prospective adoptive parents and want some level of openness in their adoption, which refers to a level of contact after the placement.

How long will we wait for a child?
This varies depending on when we are chosen by a birthmother, however, since Dan and I are younger and live in a nice neighborhood, chances are we will be chosen sooner rather than later.

What about ongoing contact with the birthparents?
Almost all domestic adoptions have some level of openness or contact between the adoptive and birthfamilies. The degree of openness is determined before placement. (Now, initially this scared me. In fact, going into this adoption process, most of you know I wanted to do international all the way. I shut my mind to domestic adoption...but God had other plans. At the end of the day it is just one more person who loves the child as much as you do. I am nervous about this aspect as it is the one thing that initially kept me from domestic adoption, but I have a feeling God knows what He is doing.)

So...this is the road that Dan and I are traveling. Like I said in my previous posting, I know risks are involved...but in the end a child will have a home, and parents will have a child. How cool is that?!?

Risk

2010-05-24T10:03:00.009-04:00

If you are going to really live your life, you are going to have to expect to take some risks. There are inherent risks involved in nearly every decision a person makes.

If you drive a car - there are risks
If you become pregnant - there are risks
If you buy a home - there are risks

In our case:
If you adopt internationally - there are risks
If you adopt domestically - there are risks

Nothing about this adoption process is easy. I never imagined that it would be so hard to get pregnant (and yes, I know that some people think that we are jumping the gun with this adoption because they think 16 months of trying isn't waiting long enough...I say, take it up with God because this is what He has called us to). God has a plan for our lives and it includes adoption. :)

Last week I said that Dan and I are considering domestic adoption. After numerous calls to Bethany and a lot of research and prayer, Dan and I have switched to domestic adoption. Will we one day adopt internationally? Yes. But the timing just isn't right. Once a person's eyes are opened to the orphan crisis, it is impossible to close them. I will always be an advocate of adoption (both international and domestic) because there are children out there who are in desperate need of homes.

Later this week I will talk about what domestic adoption entails, the difference in wait and cost, etc. Thank you for your prayers!

In the meantime, if you have the time and would like to read the amazing journey of another domestic adoption, check out Rebekah's site. It will touch your heart!

Thank you!

2010-05-20T15:05:00.003-04:00

Lets be honest...not being a mom has been difficult for me these last few weeks...perhaps because we just had Mother's Day. I don't know. As Dan and I struggle to discern God's will, we want to thank those of you who have been so encouraging. Please know that your messages, emails, notes, and hugs have touched me so much. Thank you.

I especially want to thank one person in particular. This past week I was struggling with whether or not we were really supposed to go forward with adoption. Were Dan and I really called to adopt? I prayed Wednesday morning that God would give me a sign that we were on the right path, that we were supposed to adopt.

That afternoon I checked my mailbox. Inside was a note from a relative with a check enclosed for "Baby Van." I started balling before I even reached our front door (I'm sure my neighbors thought I was completely crazy). I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I was for that sign...and for that couple who thought of us. Please know that God used you!

That night Dan and I had a long talk/cry about the adoption. Basically, we know we are called to adopt, there is no longer any doubt in our minds. However, we are no longer sure if we are going to do international or domestic. This is a huge decision and we want to make the right one. We talked with Bethany this week about how "open" open adoptions are and what they said really eased my fears. If that is the route we go with I will tell you more about it later.

So...as Dan and I look to discern God's will, please pray for us. It may seem like we are being 'flighty' by going back and forth with this...but we are just trying to work out what God's will is...not what we want. :)

On a lighter note, Dan's sister had her baby last week. I wished we lived closer so that we could see him. His name is Robert Charles Folkestad and he is beautiful.

Congratulations Amy and Andy! He is just too cute!!!

What if...

2010-05-14T14:38:00.002-04:00

God has been working on my heart lately. Here is a poem I found on one adoption website (www.allgodschildren.org) that really spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you as well.

What if...
No one cared that you had been born?
No one saw your first smile or encouraged your first steps?
You never felt a mother's love or a father's embrace?
You longed for a family that never came and hoped for a home that lived only in your dreams?

Orphaned children are all over the world waiting...hoping...praying that they will become dear to someone.
That somewhere there will be one special family that finds joy and great delight in welcoming them into their home.
Each one waits expectantly, with a hopeful heart for a family to come, each tiny soul daring to rehearse secret dreams for the future...
Is there room in your heart for a child?

There isn't too much to report on where we are in the adoption process. We received our massive formal application packet in the mail this past week which will take a bit to fill out.

Keep praying for Mr. Spreadsheet Man... ;)

Faith and Finances...

2010-05-04T20:09:00.004-04:00

We are so happy that God has answered our prayer in showing us where to adopt. We figured we would share with ya'll what our next steps are:

The first step is a to fill out the formal application packet. I have heard that this is quite lengthy and could take awhile.

After that is processed we will be assigned a social worker who will work with us on our homestudy. I'm not sure how long this takes. I'm assuming quite a bit...I haven't talked to my "source" about this yet...she's busy the upcoming auction. :)

We have trusted God to show us where to adopt... now we just need to trust Him with the money. This step is more difficult for Dan than it is for me. Dan is Mr. Spreadsheet Man...

Because the fees happen so close together we need to try to raise the initial $8,500 as soon as possible (Dan wants to wait and raise the money first, where as I want to go, go, go). There are so many other additional costs that go along with this as well, totaling $28,000-$32,000!!!

So, right now we are asking for prayers from you, along with any fundraising ideas that you may have! You can leave a comment below if you have any ideas.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your prayers!

WE HAVE OUR ANSWER!!!!

2010-05-03T20:21:00.005-04:00

Well, God gave us our answer by closing all the doors and leaving one wide open.

This morning we were told that Korea would only approve us for special needs children, which is something that we are not ready for.

Domestic adoption was another option. Dan 'happened' to call Jan today to figure out where we were in the approval process and there 'happened' to be a domestic infant adoption meeting tonight. During the meeting they stated that most birthparents chose open or semi-open adoption (that means that there is contact with the birthparents including monthly visits, phone calls, letter etc.). Bethany only had 3 closed adoptions last year and those were what they call "safe" babies which are babies that are taken away from the mother because the mother is unfit to raise the child due to drugs, alcohol or a mental condition.

So, Dan and I looked at each other during the meeting and said, "We have our answer."

ETHIOPIA!!!

We cannot tell you how excited we are to have a direction that God has pointed us to. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

Answers

2010-05-03T14:43:00.002-04:00

Well, we have some more information from Bethany.

Ethiopia is saying we can move ahead with them. Colombia is still waiting to hear from the in-country staff. Korea says we are approved for children with special needs.

So it will either be Ethiopia or domestic adoption. Columbia is a 3-4 year wait, which is something we will keep in mind for the future.

We have a meeting at Bethany tonight regarding domestic adoption. Hopefully we will receive some answers and God will make His will apparent.

Please keep us in your prayers!

The Reason Why

2010-05-01T16:26:00.003-04:00

Many of my family members and co-workers have received this letter. However, for those who haven't and are curious as to why we are adopting read on.

"In 2009 Dan and I decided it was time to start a family. We both assumed it would be easy as most people in our family have gotten pregnant just by holding hands. However, after four months I was still not pregnant and the stress of it was making me unhappy with myself and bitter towards those who were getting pregnant. In effort to take pressure off, Dan told me not to worry and that four months was not a long time to still not be pregnant. Dan also stated (assuming it would never happen) that is we could not have kids we would just adopt. This took a lot of pressure off me and I was able to celebrate with those who were pregnant. I had always wanted to adopt someday and Dan was not against it, but we had never really given it too much thought.
We continued trying to have a child and as the months continued to go by we still did not get pregnant. Through prayer and thoughtful consideration we decided to set a time-frame for when we would adopt. We figured if we were not pregnant in April of 2010 that God was telling us He wanted us to adopt. Again, we assumed that we would be pregnant long before that time. However, as the months ticked by and we got closer and closer to the deadline, we both started to doubt that we would get pregnant. We prayed more and more about it in an effort to seek His will. The closer we got to the date, the more we felt adoption was what God wanted us to pursue. By the last two months, even though we were still trying to have a child, we both had the feeling that it was not going to happen because God wanted something else for us.
So with great excitement and anticipation we would like to tell you that we have begun the process of adopting a child. We are working with Bethany Christian Services as we have had many peope use and recommend them. Depending on the country we adopt from, this process could be as short as one year or as long as two and a half years. So your prayers are welcomed during this waiting period.
We are excited to share this news with you and look forward to the months ahead and the eventual arrival of baby Van."

And the run-around begins...

2010-04-26T00:49:00.001-04:00

Many of you are wondering if there is an update or if we have made our decision as to which country we will be going with. The answer to that is "no."

It took an entire week of me calling the doctor's office every single day to get a three sentence note from my doctor, which I sent to Bethany on Friday. We applied for three different countries (Columbia, Ethiopia, and South Korea) since we are not positive which one we will be choosing. Right now it is just a waiting game to see what countries we will be approved for.

Domestic adoption is another option, but we will be talking to Jan later this week about it. We don't want to close doors if they are doors that God wants open.

On another note we have begun our kitchen remodel. For those of you who don't know, Dan and I bought a foreclosure and there is a LOT of work to be done (especially if we want to be approved for a homestudy!). So, here is what my kitchen looks like now:

When it is done it will look very nice and I look forward to a time when I can cook for my entire family. I know God has a child already picked out for us and that brings me comfort...and makes me ache to hold that child.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Praise:
-My sister-in-law, Dana, graduated from college. Congrats!
-Aaron and Gwen made it to Ethiopia safely and are anxiously waiting to meet their new son!
-Congrats to my friend Olga who gets married this week in California! I'm sad I can't go but I am so happy for her!
-We were able to get the note from the doctor...slowly but surely! :)

Prayer Requests:
-Keep Aaron in Gwen in your prayers as they travel home (Friday, April 30).
-Pray for wisdom for Dan and I as to what country we should adopt from. If it is Ethiopia, pray that you will hit us with a two by four because we would have to raise $32,000 very, very quickly.
-Pray also for Dan and my dad as they work on our kitchen. Oh, and pray for extra patience for me because, being the clean freak that I am, the state of my kitchen right now scary!

Thanks for all of your support and prayers this week. I must say that I was so encouraged by the outpouring of love from some of you this past week. I cannot tell you how much that means to us. Thank you.

With much love and prayer,

Decisions

2010-04-16T19:31:00.000-04:00

I barely slept last night in anticipation of today's meeting and I was distracted all day. 1:00 could not come soon enough.

The meeting at Bethany started off well. There were only two other couples, which made it much more personal. We began by going over the basic steps of inter-country adoption and then Jan went over the different countries that have adoption programs through Bethany. To be honest, when she started talking about the situations in some orphanages I just wanted to scoop all those kids up and take them home.

Dan and I were interested in the South Korea adoption program but, unfortunately, Bethany is only given four slots each year and 2010 has already been filled. We can be put on the waiting list for 2011, but if we do that it is still a 12-16 month process...meaning we would have to wait nearly 2.5 years (or more!) to receive our child.

Ethiopia is another country to which we qualify. They have added new orphanages to their program which is making the process move more quickly. However, it may move too quickly for Dan and I to raise the money that we would need.

Dan and I got in the car after the meeting and just sat there in silence. It was quiet most of the ride home as we processed all that we had heard. Questions rolled around in my mind, "Can I wait 2 and a half years to get a child?" "Should we go with Ethiopia?" "If we do go with Ethiopia how will Dan handle it (he has always had a special place in his heart for Asian countries)?" "Would we be able to come up with the money fast enough if we did go with Ethiopia?" These questions overwhelmed both Dan and myself. After sitting down at home and talking about it we have come to these conclusions:

-We could put ourselves on the waiting list for South Korea, giving ourselves the time to set aside the money without stress.

-We could apply for a child from Ethiopia and work extra hard at saving and applying for grants, waiting until we get most of the money in before having our full application processed.

-Or...do we go a different route and do domestic adoption? Jan seemed to think we would be "great" candidates for the program, but we have some really strong reservations about it and my heart is in inter-country adoption.

Mainly, we need to see where God wants us to adopt. On Monday I will need to call the doctor and get a "strongly-worded note" stating that the ridiculously low dose of medication I am on will NOT affect my ability to parent a child. Then we just need to get the preliminary application approved. Since we don't know which country we are going with yet, we will apply for both. However, once we are approved we need to make a decision about whether to move quickly, or whether we hurry up and wait. God has seen us through this far and I am sure that He will give us an answer. "Faith is not the absence of conflict..." ...but it sure would help if He wrote it on a billboard... :)

Prayer Requests:
-Pray that God will direct us to the country of His choosing....or steer us towards domestic adoption...
-Pray for patience and understanding. We both know this will be a long process...but Dan has more patience than I do. I want a child yesterday... :)

Praise:
-We rejoice with Aaron, Gwen, Gavin and Whitney as Aaron and Gwen leave this weekend to pick up their new son, Tariku, from Ethiopia!!!

Thank you all for your congratulations and prayer. Please pray hard this weekend as we have these important decisions to make!

Thank you!

With Prayer and Love,

Beginnings

2010-04-14T13:26:00.000-04:00

If you are reading this blog then you know that Dan and I have made a step toward adoption. We are looking to adopt a child from South Korea.

We will post more information after our meeting at Bethany on Friday. Please keep us in your prayers as we move forward in faith! Thank you!